Friday, April 30, 2010

My Love For You Is True


Yesterday, while chatting with a dearest friend, sadness visited my soul.  Not in a big punching sorrowful way but enough to make me feel, and realize, how special he is in my life.  Enough to make me stayed up to pray.  Enough to warrant some time reflecting on the beauty of friendship.  Of love.  Of wants.  Of what life would offer if I am not going to honor the beauty in this person.  Enough for me to spend my time writing this, as part of my prayers, to tell him that he is loved.

The consciousness of his presence, in my search for meaning, brightens the inner significance about love and friendship.  His kindness, his care, his support that often chases away my dark clouds.  Flashes of the past in sequential snippets framed in my mind where we shared our life story, sharing all about our deepest secrets and the heartily laughter between us that never stops.

Our friendship has come a long way.  It has surpassed the silent language between us.  Though the distance between us is far - and it has been that way since day one whether he is in Queensland, Australia or in Pattaya, Thailand - we have never stopped to let each other know about our being.  About what is happening or to our future plans that we will undertake.  About our thoughts and feelings.  About our anger and fear and our hopes.

There is an air of superior quality about this friend; a quality deserving praise and a blessed virtue to those be a part of his life.  I am fortunate to be part of his merits.  In all life's imperfection, I believe in his sincerity towards me.  I believe in his love for our friendship.  I believe in his love for me.  I believe in his prayers for my well being.  I believe in his support whenever, or should, I need a shoulder.  I believe in the creation of a soul friendship not out of need but a want.

Just before we ended the conversation, he told me to brave life.  It was such an irony when I should be the one telling him so.  It bothers me knowing about his recent state of health.  It shakes my strength.  It makes me wonder how a wonderful lively person will need to recourse his normal daily activities.  It gives me a gloomy mood to think on a twist to life to a person that I regarded always full of love.  Of always wanting to give and always put himself second to others.   It just does not seem fair. 

It saddens me when we have to face life and not played it with a freewill.  That we have to change its course and carefully not to thread nor do what, and how, we want to go about doing it.  Somehow, we have come to a crossroad where faith and freewill become joined by twinning together.  They are no longer separate.  Perhaps, a time has come where a paradigm shift needs to be in the forefront to bring awareness about quality of life.  About going deep into a divine energy that will only make us to appreciate the breaths of being alive.

Perhaps, I am over reacting over such a trivial news.  Somehow, I believe it so too.  But for me, it is not about the alarming numerical count of his high blood pressure.  Medical sciences and the technological advances of medicines can take good care of that.  It is what goes behind the symptom that makes me to feel sad for him.  That, such a dear friend, is still struggling.  Still trapped with his past.  About him, and how the many more of us, still lives a life floating above the truths and pretending everything is fine.  That we can never take away the masks off our face, for some reasons, afraid that it will disrupt on the foundation to the life we have created.  That we never wish it to crumble the joy and the happiness.  That we need to be on guard and often filled with wariness and watchful to make sure they do not disappear.  About how we just conveniently choose to bury our deepest sorrows and, hopefully, they will just go away with time.

I am a huge fan of Louise Hay.   I just believe in her metaphysical interpretation.  She has changed the way I think.  She has changed the way I live my life.  She has assisted me, and to those that I have shared her message, in discovering and using the full potential of our own creative powers for personal growth and self healing.  In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, she has provided me the tapestry to life's mystery.  It has helped me.  It has helped the people around me.  It should help communication.  It should help relationship.

Early this month, I was unwell for about ten long days.  I was trapped with my own inner crying.  My heart was crying for help, for attention.  I knew the day I verbalised the words "please do not leave me" that I was on the road for full recovery.  That is what Louise Hay is all about.  She brings consciousness to the unspoken spirit.  She brings back the realization to the soul only when we choose to address the symptom.

Right now, my sadness is about what lies deep in the soul of this dear friend.  It makes me to think harder how I have taken life for granted.  How I have taken him for granted.  How a simple life is more than just a brief greeting.  Nor that a laughter, or a good cry, is never an act to end a revelation, a confession or a story fully told.  There is always that little reservation for an unfinished sorrow deep within us that we dearly pray only a divine intervention can take it away.  This is my lesson from him.  That love is not only about feeling but knowing.  That love has a language and it needs to be recognized and communicated.  Love, just like a human need, requires the extra mile.  This is the divine nudge for me to pray for him.

The power to live has shifted back to him.  For a change to happen, it has to start with acceptance.  It has to evolve with consciousness and being aware that it is safe to look within.  I am talking about having a great respect for life and a gratitude for the miracle of our bodies and our minds.  Life goes in cycles because we allow it.  For a spirit to fly, there is a time to do something, and then there is a time to move on.

Let's rebuild our friendship but for this new conviction to happen, we need to understand the long standing emotional problem that are not solved.  My prayers are set on this.  My prayers are for the divine light to beam deeper in our communication.  What remains will be my love, and deep gratitude, for this dear friend.

"You are never alone, Greg."

This is an extract from Louise Hay:

Blood is joy.  The veins and arteries are channels of joy.  Everything works under the law and the action of love.  There is love in every bit of intelligence in the Universe.  It is impossible to work and function well without love and joy being experienced.

Negative thinking clogs up the brain, and there is no room for love and joy to flow in its free and open way.

Laughter cannot flow if it is not allowed to be free and foolish.  It is the same with love and joy.  Life not grim unless we make it so, unless we choose to look at it in that way.  We can find total disaster in the smallest upset, and we can find some joy in the greatest tragedy.  It is up to us.

Sometimes, we try to force our life to go in a certain way when it is not for our highest good.  Sometimes we create a 'blood' problem to force us to go in a totally different direction, to re-evaluate our lifestyles.

The heart represents love, while our blood represents joy.  Our hearts lovingly pump joy throughout our bodies.  When we deny ourselves joy and love, the heart shrivels and becomes cold.  As a result, the blood gets sluggish.

The heart does not attack us.  We get so caught in the soap opera and dramas we create that we often forget to notice the little joys that surround us.  We spend years squeezing all the joy out of the heart, and it literally falls over in pain.

If we do not take the time to appreciate the joys of life, they will just create another problem in time.





Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Where Is The Love


I am certain that nearly everyone would agree that honesty is the best policy; that we are told honesty breeds comfort.  Our parents tell us it is so; our teachers tell us it is so; our partners tell us it is so.  So are the friends whom we meet regularly, those that desire to cherish a good tie, tell us to be honest with each other.  The whole community, where we live in, expect it to be so too.  It is the comfort knowing all relationships are being prized preciously with love and respect that makes everyday a joy.  And, the peace of mind that can only escalate all our daily activities and turn all events with gratifying desire for positive endeavours.  In moral terms, honesty is without a doubt a virtue, and dishonesty is a vice.
We should want to be honest because it opens a climate full of trust and confidence that will only lead to healthy attitudes and relationships.  William Shakespeare said "Honesty is the best policy.  If I lose mine honor, I lose myself.'  What is uttered from the heart alone, in the spirit of staying true and honest, will win the hearts of others to our own.  Integrity is telling the truth; honesty is telling the truth to other people.
Honesty, which is often an under-rated virtue, holds rewards filled with dear promises where people will just want to deal with us much more because they can open up and, in return, trust us.  Honesty, and being truthful, lets an individual with nothing to hide. He/she can walk proud and does not have to remember what was being said and who he/she said it to. Honesty renders, in us, to have a clean and clear conscience, which is ever essential if we are to render sacred service to humankind.  Being honest is a lot easier as it eliminates the gnawing fear of being caught.  Unfortunately, to some, becoming honest is not an easy thing to do.
Matter of factly, honesty should be ingrained naturally in us and to be a second nature to live life daily.  It should be a constant mantra in all that we say, do and think - in all our daily interactions with another being.  That we should say what is the truth and genuinely not devious, do what is honestly right which is characterized with admission of responsibility, and think not to deceive but to hold and display integrity.  We should honor to bring the nurturing power of the Universe's energy into our life that brings lasting positive results.
Yet, when push comes to shove and our failure to take charge of our swinging thoughts, many of us just cannot help to uphold such a simple virtue but to tell white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings.  We might even tell ourselves a little white lie to face ourselves from the reality of truth.  Perhaps, we have been brought up by our social environment to hide the truth as to avoid troubles, or risking causing offense to others who may not want or need to hear the complete truth.
No matter how insignificant we might think a little white lie has on any relationship, the energy of this little white lie looms between us and the other person.  We might argue, and probably validate all reasons to ease our conscience, that little white lies are harmless.  That being honest hurts.  However, they are like small cracks that weaken the overall structure in the long term.  Speaking the truth (honesty) is analogous to a complete full picture made with every pieces of the jigsaw puzzles where each piece needs to fit at the right place.  Words, just like the jigsaw pieces, are energy that vibrate with every thought process that must move in one direction.  That, at the end of any communication, a perfect picture should surface.  Dishonesty will only magnify the inadequacy out from the missing jigsaw piece.
Many may not realize the drained energy in them executing lies.  It is almost a God's way for us to forget the lies that we had told someone; lies are just hard to remember.  Lies are not factual events - they are not pieces of the jigsaw puzzles for that complete full picture - and the energy does not get stored in our memory.  People do not remember what was said and, worse, if they are words made to deceive.
Giving someone a false compliment or ostensibly protecting someone can create problems later when the alternate truths we created become the basis for further interactions.  Even when all future actions may be honest, the underlying unstable foundation of a little white lie will threaten to derail an otherwise good relationship.  This then will lead to further energy being spent on keeping things hidden, working to remember the little white lies we have told and fearing the consequences of being found out.  Ultimately, at a very unconscious and subconscious levels, our relationship with another becomes a tiring and draining experience.
Being honest is about speaking the truth and affirming what already is.  It transcends the honest flow of life and moves with the same direction of the universal law of cause and effect.  It cultivates and strengthens our physical, emotional and spiritual well being and leaving us with more energy for other pursuits.  When we speak and live our truth, the universe supports us.
Personally, I am guilty of telling white lies, though I would want to assert an action 'omitting the truth' as a defence.  Somehow, with all the reasons that I could give to validate and defend my actions, I often wonder why - after the white lies or omit the truths are told - what kind of a person am I?  What prompted me to seek such alternative, in all the moral and social terms, as desirable?  Do I want to take the risk to fail myself as a lightworker and/or warrior of light - the principles of my life, having such deficit in social interaction to morality?  The guilt that creeps afterwards is just not worth it.
My point here, everybody lies.  By the time a child gains an awareness of the use and power of language, dishonesty becomes second nature and a typical brain development.  It is as good as giving dishonesty a defined characteristic of what it is to be human.  Infact, it is not the only defining characteristic, but it does separate us from other animals.  Some non-human species may have a limited capacity for deception but humans have a flexible, unlimited capacity for deception.
Becoming an honest person requires a deep awareness and consciousness for integrity.  For harmony, respect and to strike a balance.  When we just love someone, and care enough for their happiness, we should live to speak and act the truths.  When a person lies, he/she has broken a bond - the unspoken agreement to treat others with love and respect, as we would like to be treated.  Dishonesty, or deception, often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again.  When the issue of trust is on the line, coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences.
Today, I am making a conscious effort to free myself of the burden of dishonesty.  This writing is about a prayer to attract the energy of honesty that sets my life for meaningful attitudes and relationships.  Towards a better quality of life.  Towards greatest love and respect.    For my life to follow the honest flow of life, may this writing resonate deep with my soul.  Together, with all the people that cross into my path and those that I treasure, we shall begin today to choose honesty in every of our interactions.
.. and all in the name of Love.






Monday, April 05, 2010

No Expiry Date


Recently, I was asked to mediate a relationship with a goal to meet on a respectable level field and for a story to be told, to be listened to and to be heard.  It was about finding a worthy opportunity for settlement, for an amicable reconciliation, and for everything considerate to gain.  For a renewed commitment to bridge differences and to stay true, in all its tenderness and care, to each of the parties involved and for each other.  Mediation is a conviction filled with deserving worth, merit and value and never a sign of weakness for any couple who seeks the beauty and essence of a good relationship to become stronger and healthier.

A failed relationship can often end, without having desirable and positive qualities, into a state of no man's land between the traumatic life events of every man.  Worse, when a couple living under one roof is no longer able to maintain connections.  Or, when a couple insists each of his/her own way is the right one, making a determined belief for and on his/her rights, and closed all forms of communication.
 
Relationship presents complex dynamics and, often, it is common for conflicts to happen.  The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of the people.  We cannot control the way a partner acts but we can control how we react to a situation.  It takes a lifetime for a person to know his partner and no one should fool himself to claim otherwise.  It can only bring about disharmony when one starts to think that he knows another too well.

By the same dogma, if we could all become a better story teller, it would be easier to know ourselves and also share our ideas.  Fact is, we are constantly the strangers to ourselves.  There would always be surprises at what we know [or don't] about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we react differently towards them everytime everyday.  How then could it be a right thing for each one of us to say that we can fully understand another person well?  We don't even know how, at most time and at every twist of life, to take care of ourselves and to achieve tranquility to the stormy present.

The mediation is a  shower of blessing to my energy.  The session reminds me of the book, Brida by Paulo Coelho.  It takes me into a forgotten, perhaps a granted, dimension about the beauty of life.  In the book, Paulo wrote "In his or her life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant.  Builders may take years over their tasks, but one day they will finish what they are doing.  Then they will stop, hemmed in by their own walls.  Life becomes meaningless once the building is finished.  Those who plant suffer the storms and the seasons and rarely rest.  Unlike a building, a garden never stops growing.  And by its constant demands on the gardener’s attention, it makes the gardener’s life a great adventure.”

I feel blessed as it involves two individuals, that I have known for such a long time and for them to have been in a relationship spanning almost 40 years, to give me the opportunity to recognize love.  Bless as the mediation is about us taking a walk together from the visible world over into the invisible and to learn lessons of both those worlds.  It is about cementing true friendship and to bring about renewed life cycle to people who I care so much.  Bless as it is a heartwarming eye opener to the karmic connection of soul mate.

The mediation awakens the spiritual consciousness about acceptance.  It nourishes my soul to the acts of letting go and to accept what is Just-Is.  It makes me human and to realize the joy in soul mate.  About what life is and how it brings people together for a greater lesson for each other.  About love that has no expiry date.  That love conquers it all.  That love forgives.  About a great relationship that holds all the lessons about growth, about acceptance, about forgiveness, and the realization and desire to re-learn what had been forgotten.  All in the name of respect to be earned and for love to bear no expiry date.

Maintaining a good and strong relationship requires a lot of effort, sincerity and dedication.  It requires understanding and a capacity to forgive.  It is also important to remember, that even when a relationship is going well and smooth, it should never be taken for granted, soul mate or otherwise.

Every relationship is unique, complex and multi-dimensional.  We have our own way of understanding and feeling.  We build a relationship and unconsciously put ourselves to the hands of our loved ones in the hope that the relationship will provide our happiness.  Over time, we even expect that our partner is supposed to know exactly what, when and how to provide this happiness.  Unknowingly, we become completely ignorant of the the function of a relationship that is supposed to make one feels complete.  Happiness is only a by product and is still our responsibility to bear. 

A relationship can be a great way to have fun and create a special bond.  It is a great opportunity to learn a lot about oneself and the one we care for.  The fundamental thing in maintaining a healthy relationship is the ability of partners to listen.  When we are able to listen to another person, we are given a chance to understand deeper about him/her.  In its turn, it makes our partner feels that he/she is worthy of being listened to.  Trust increases the value of any relationship.

It is very important, from the very beginning, to talk to each other.  To nurture each other and give each other, in all fields, the support.  Keeping the line of communication opens and to share about everyday happenings in life, share opinions, thought and feelings will open the door to know each other much better and get to know of each other's likes and dislikes.  It is only then that trust sanctifies this relationship.

Relationship is meant to give us the parts that we can never have on our own.  It is about finding the missing part, about furnishing the yin to the yang.  That completeness, over the time discovering one another through a relationship, makes our world go round.  It makes an individual to feel that he/she is capable of anything.

A relationship does not mean that partners never argue or disagree about anything.  It is always good to remind ourselves that we are still imperfect, even when we have found someone to love or  experiencing an intensed incarnated love attachment with a soul mate .  We are just humans who have our ups and downs.  We have our own ideas about tastes in food, about how we eat, about the musics and movies we listen and watch, about the words and languages we speak, about what we wear or just about visiting or not visiting friends and families in the weekend.

Soul mates are no difference and they themselves can be easily be victims to conflicts.  Their destiny lies with their particular lessons that have to be learned before the next spiritual level, or dimension, is reached.  Soul mates fall in love, again and again, to define for particular type of relationship that is chosen to achieve it.  It entails a realization and heightened awareness to let each one of them to grow spiritually and emotionally.

It is a written belief that there is, at least, one ideal soul mate for everyone and when we could just find each other, we would live together forever in bliss.  Most people can have several soul mates to compliment in one lifetime and the older a soul is, the more they have.  It is documented, through many works on past life regression and the many articles on soul mate, that we all have another half, and more, and we are not complete until we are united with that person. 

One soul mate may come into a relationship to teach his/her partner about strength.  While another might teach about compassion.  All the learnng process in relationships involves trials and errors before the necessary growth.  For development and evolution to complete, consciousness plays a large content of aspects.  The energy bond between soul mates will always find its way to teach each other new lessons.

The key to maintain a stronger and healthier relationship, however, is not to copy each other but to allow all the parties to feel good about who they are.  Honesty should not be under-rated and doubts must not come in between.  Generally, people just hate to be doubted.  As soon as it happens, any relationship can go down in an instant. 

Promises, when they are made, are to be honored and not conveniently said to be forgotten.  Words provide the energy to bond the relationship stronger.  Be committed to the words we relay to our partners.  The more we talk about our joy and pride, fears and problems to each other, the easier the karmic connections shall become.  It is essential to realize that learning about how to work things out together is a key to a blissful relationship.

We must constantly remind ourselves not to try to change our partner.  To be in a relationship where one just lives with a hope that another will change is unhealthy.  As humans, we will just get disappointed waiting for someone to change, while the other will get upset not being accepted for who they are.

The value of a good relationship is priceless. Even more so when we are in a relationship with our soul mate.  When it has come, we just need to embrace the relationship, nurture it and savour it and try to maintain by all possible means.

In Brida, Paulo Coelho said "true love allows each person to follow his or her own path, aware that doing so can never drive them apart'.  Love with no expiry date is "when you find your way you cannot be scared.  You need to be brave enough to take wrong steps.  The deceptions, failures, lack of enthusiasm, are tools that God places in our way to reveal the path'.

"The path to wisdom is not being afraid to make mistakes" he said.  Life is, and will be, beautiful "every time you wish something, keep your eyes wide open, focus and know exactly what you want.  No one hits the target with eyes closed".

That is what a relationship should be about.  Not the transient feeling of happiness but the realization that we, as imperfect individual, can create a beautiful, if not perfect whole.  Whether we choose to find happiness from there, is still our choice, but it is not going to be something given to us when we find someone we love.  It has always been, and should be, something we create.

A happy relationship is only true when happiness is shared.

Quotes from Brida, a Paulo Coelho novel:

"But how will I know who my Soulmate is?"

"By taking risks," Wicca said to Brida.

"By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search of love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end"


I guess the triumphant of love - one that is written with no expiry date, with soul mates are when all things click and when hearts keep coming back to each other even after the worst case scenario.





    About Me

    I am a certified Master in Traditional USUI REIKI and KARUNA REIKI. I am also a certified practitioner in MAGNIFIED HEALING and INNER DANCE.

    I have been teaching and conducting spirituality, healing and energy works (including Breathing Techniques, Meditation and Spinal Qiqong) for more than two decades.

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    a) Life / Motivational Coach
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