Friday, May 28, 2010

Finding Self-Worth


No man is an island.  Human beings just do not, for a period of time, thrive when isolated from others. It is possible to spend time alone but it will never complete their social needs and growth. In the words of an English poet, John Donne "All mankind is of one author, and is one volume.  That when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language and every chapter must be so translated."

It is a totally different scenario with the need to being alone; in the period of alone-ness.  Being alone in the world, the world of alone-ness, even though we travel our journeys with people merely underscores how important faith, hope and understanding our spiritual self inside us (and probably in God) are.  There are times when we will feel incredibly desolate, confused and numbed to a communal reality that the call for alone-ness, the only man in the island, that such situation can thrive.  It would be, then, a spiritual call being true to ourselves.

I am touched, and moved, with Donne's content.  Particularly so for the latter part of it and on the line 'but translated into a better language'.  It tells us the significant to live our life.  It sums it up to bring awareness how we can change, and should change for the better, our mindset.  It is an awakening call to look within into our conscience; to work at it and honor everything that has provided for a better meaning to life.  Only when the acknowledgments are internalized, the purpose to life becomes clearer.  Every stones in every roads will uncast the process leaving every opportunity doors wide open.  Every life's value that becomes our actions will turn to results. 

How shall we live?  What shall we live for?  How we can decide right from wrong?  It is always important to recognize the values and, ultimately, in making a better wise choice.  Each one of us has a different set of value.  For some, the value may be living for wealth, for power, for reason, for virtue, for faith, for fulfillment, for love, for happiness, for integrity.  The list can just go on.

The content brings consciousness towards the subject about life and our imprints we leave behind on our death.  Hopefully, I will be able to  internalize within myself with the right sanctity for the right perception.  About the need to be surrounded with the right people for the right thing.  About accomplishments and perhaps, to live life with no regrets and everything is just enough.  For the conscientiousness of my (our) morals.  For a meaningful ending when faced with death.

It is, to me, a reminder about the importance on the quality of life that we need to exercise.  That, in whatever we do, think and act should be guided consciously towards it.  That we need to re-think our thought processes before we execute the actions.  We need to be aware of our words, our promises, our commitments, our desires and wants and so on.

How we should live a life truthfully within the sea of love.  With will.  With respect.  With honor.  With endearment.  With conscience.  Within the relationship we have with another.  About how we should never take for granted the people that we have come to treasure.  That have played a big part in our incremental growth.  To those whom have had shaped our lives.  To all the individuals that have, and continuously, designed our days and sharing and letting us to go through life experiences.  That have shared and provided valuable lessons for us to become a better person.  These are our parents, our brothers, our sisters and infact the whole family generation.  And then, there are our teachers, our masters and our friends.  Or our neighbours.

We are what we eat; we become what we think about.  I have become a strong believer, in life, that I cannot hold more than what I already have.  That it will be useless should I go on with life adding friendship every other day, or getting to know more people through social networking, but sadly only to become superficial with one another each passing day.  That I would only know them by their name, their status just because all I need is another friend.  Nor should I want to walk the path of fame, to feast on my ego, proudly announcing to the world that I know so-and-so and so-and-so. 

I believe when I am constrained with time 24-7, how then can I provide for new friends?  How then can I provide the love and the care?  We, as an individual, often fail to love oneself.  With all our limited time, we hardly spend to treat ourselves right.  We constantly deny the time, and love, to nourish our soul.  The soul that is the core of our true self, the very essence of whom and what we are.

What will be my motive for making new friendship?  What will be left of my intention for those that I already knew?  Where would I place the sincerity for my appreciation and gratitude?  When was the last time I did my part, as a so-called friend, calling any one out for a good meal, a good conversation?  Or calling to know, to share and catch up with his/her life? 

When was the last time I said 'I love you' to my mum, my dad, my siblings and my closest friends?  We don't even spend much quality time with our parents and siblings.  Or our soul partners.  We often find convenient excuses for not doing so.  The most important source of soul food for my soul is the quality time with loved ones.  It rejuvenates me and helps me to go on.  It makes me feel alive, full of life and connected to the Universe. 

The large quantity of people in my small hands does not count for my happiness.  Nor the quiet joy I seek in small groups.  Nor the peace of mind where I can put my trust and my faith.  Plainly, I am getting tired at just smiling and greetings at superficiality.

Perhaps, I am off the mindset of what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."  Though it is not a must, it is always good to have someone that shares a common goal.

It is only natural that friendship is developed in the office.  In school.  In meditation class.  But, to purposely find friends by logging to social networks, online chat rooms or going to pubs requires a little more consciousness.  It requires a little more the Self understanding.  It requires the opening of our awareness towards the search, and the desire and objective, it places in our current journey in life.

Do not get me wrong.  While making new friends is highly enriching and can be rewarding - and yes, that no man can ever be alone - we need to realize should we are able to take on the big responsibility to know another person and understand his/her feelings.  Friends comes with friendships.  Life is a journey and real good friends are with us in the caravan.  It is said that the natural process to life in meeting new friends, where it is guided with synchronicity and coincidences, is far more meaningful.

Just the other day, a friend passed a remark that she does not need so-and-so just because she has found some new friends.  New friendships are like the new broom that will sweep clean.  New things are always don with admiration.  We are mesmerized with everything new.  My friend's action kinda puzzled me.  I am saddened at the circumstances.  Friendship is not something that you can throw away just because there is a vacuum to be filled with someone new or when someone new comes along.

It is true, and unavoidable, that good friendship can sometimes just dies off.  That the person whom we have known for many years could just suddenly ceased to be part of our lifeline.  That a friendly relations gets strained, usually reaching a point of no return.  Such a situation arises when there is no longer a win-win situation where things are no longer absolutely hunky dory.

Friendship develops from a need.  It is a social call where two individuals first interact, or being interacting, with one another out from some common interest that binds the two.  Things become bad when one person gains and the other stands to lose.

In the wisdom of John Donne, "when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language and every chapter must be so translated."  We need to appreciate our friends.  We need to be part of their conditionings, good or bad.

I am wary about perception.  I pray hard to be watchful in the way I think, I judge and I perceive.  Perceptions are not always a reality.  Perceptions can destroy even the best of intention.  Our minds do not grasp everything our senses feed us.  Say, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, it must be a duck.

My friend's remark made me to think of what others would think of me.  Of their perception of me.  Not that it totally matters should I am that so-and-so, as in the case of that friend, gets dumped.  But, it would be sad to be in the situation arises from a deceived perception.  Or, from a situation where friendship is being compared to another.

Perception changes everything.  In the language of the Universe, perception often reveals the actions of the heart. We become indifferent and slack with enthusiasm.  Excuses start to come into play in almost all our actions and reactions.  We procrastinate at everything since love is no longer the wheel to drive the relationship.  My friend's actions have become a classic to the notion.  She avoids returning calls, ignoring sms-es and easily gets irritable.  Her easiest excuse is always to provide white lies that she has been busy, and busier.

Subconsciously, we 'grade' our friends based on our values - How they talk, how they eat, how they laugh, how they walk and so on.  Thing is, there is nothing wrong with all that.  It is only our perception that measures the interpretations.  And, it makes me wonder where am I in the eyes of my friends?  Where am I in the hearts of the people I treasure?

If there is one thing that I can learn from my mistake in life, it would be the time that I failed to honor my heart.  Only when my mum passed on that I was hit with remorse for not doing the one thing that I promised myself to give her.  Such is a state of our excuses for everything.  We would delay every attempts, and conveniently forget, the tasks that we should have carried out at the right time.

Almost a month ago, I was treating a young man who came to confide his problems.  I admire his courage to admit his weakness at white lies.  How it has actually affected his inner conscience.  When told that I knew he lied at things, not in any detrimental ways, I sensed his helplessness.  Lies are a no win-win situation especially when we want to have our friends, or our loved ones, with us in the same caravan of life.

I told him that life is simple made complicated by our desires.  That life, in itself, carries a vibrational energy with its own auric field of colors.  We cannot fake our aura.  It is always important to guard our color, our aura.  It is important to guard and live towards a clear conscience.  Our aura is basically an extension of who we are.  It speaks volumes.

The same principle goes with us living in Universe's abundance.  For its fruits to bear, we need to have a clean and clear conscience.  We need to have a strong sincere perception.  Not one that will hinder us from our growth.  It is always easier with a Yes or a No.  It is always dishonesty that denies us from entering into the gate of the Universe.  It is wise to live life to love for love rather than to love to lie.

I am praying for self conviction.

Happy Vesak Day.








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    I am a certified Master in Traditional USUI REIKI and KARUNA REIKI. I am also a certified practitioner in MAGNIFIED HEALING and INNER DANCE.

    I have been teaching and conducting spirituality, healing and energy works (including Breathing Techniques, Meditation and Spinal Qiqong) for more than two decades.

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