God, Guide My Tongue So That I Can Only Speak The Truth.
It is said that respect is earned and not given. Ironically, the reality in all of us, we are often in a dominant mindset that we desire for respect to be given to us. It is like an automatic virtue that we take for granted. We desire to be respected by all the people we interact whether they are new in our lives, whether they are strangers and it does not matter if we just come to know another person.
Somehow, respect is garnered (without our awareness) to show for our inadequacy. We need it to make us feel good, feel worthy of trust and to level our integrity and status. The other day, when I was reading through a forum, a poster felt offended that his post was attacked. He felt his effort to start a thread was not appreciated (which brushed down to respect). A friend who I threaded on the fine line felt angry with me for highlighting his weakness.
Point is, we expect it from our parents, our brothers and sisters, our partners, our relatives, our neighbours, our teachers, our friends, our employers, our employees, our maids and even from the younger generation. Most people want respect just because they think that they are high in rank or authority. They think they are good, they are financially affordable and successful, they are charitable and they keep your secrets.
For the record, I am guilty of it too. As a brother, a partner, a neighbour, a Master, a friend and an elder, I expect to receive it. Worse, I am forgetting that should I am not showing respect for my oneself, by making good decisions and working at being a good person, how can I demand to receive it from someone else?
I, and hopefully you too, should pause here for awhile to think whether we deserve respect in the first place. When we look at the people around us, at the people whom we love and all those we come in contact with, what is the level of respect (and trust) we earned? We cannot simply tell others how disappointed we are just because they do not trust us, hence the respect, whole-heartedly. What do we tell them that make us not be respected? What do we share with them that let respect to slip within the crack?
Do we own our words? Do we take charge and account our responsibilities for the promises we make? Are we even honest and sincere when making statements? Are all our information and stories speak the truth or we bake the half truth all the time?
Truth forms the backbone for an earned respect. There is no two ways about it. As is, respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, love is gained and loyalty is returned. Of course we have to respect everyone that we come across until and unless he/she gives us a reason not to. Nonetheless, as a person, we have to learn not to feel that we should be respected for nothing. That, in my opinion, is utterly wrong. It will and does not make us to become a better person.
I learn that the easiest way to lose respect is when I do not take responsibility for my words and my actions and putting the blame on somebody else. We have to earn it simply by being real (act frankly) and genuine at all times. There should not be double standard in our words and our actions. After all, respect is what we owe; Love is what we give.
How then can we earn respect and be a better person? The choice, of course, is up to us. We orchestrated our personality, our attitude, our BEing for all the highest good to be given and received. Life is a symphony of love but when a truth is not given complete freedom, freedom is not complete. In Wikihow, it states that "Respect is not something that is owed to you. It does not come to you just because you exist. You have to earn it."
I shall imprint the steps written in Wikihow (as a reminder to myself too) as how can we earn respect. The link is HERE.
Steps:
01. Do your best at every task, no matter how difficult or even how small it is. All the good things in the world that make life worth living have come into being by the efforts of people who wanted to do a good job and enjoyed doing it. Such people are regarded as possessing good character.
02. Keep your word and don't make a promise that you can't or won't keep. A person who keeps their word is considered trustworthy.
03. Because the good things around us have come into being due to the efforts of all sorts of people from all walks of life show courtesy to everyone you meet, even if they aren't the person you want to impress. By respecting everyone you will find that you yourself will be respected. This is called 'The Golden Rule' (Google 'The Golden Rule' )
04. Be honest and tell the truth.
05. Be kind/friendly to others and build them up.
06. Try to understand things correctly. See the wider context.
07. Before you speak think whether it is a good, necessary or helpful thing that you are about to say. People know us by what we say as well as what we do. If you have something useful or helpful to say, offer your thoughts with humility and gentleness.
08. Be straightforward and communicate clearly.
09. A prophet once said "Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil". Even if people around you are behaving badly, thinking wrong thoughts and perhaps doing evil things, do not move from your true self and do not be afraid to express your real feelings. A person who has the courage to stand apart from the crowd and think on their own feet independently of others is regarded with awe.
10. Engage in work that is of real value, no matter how humble.
11. Take some care of your appearance.
I offer Reiki Distant Healing