This is a story of love. This is a story of love in its purest form. This is a story of courage to love. This is a story of Nattawat. This is, perhaps, your story too. And perhaps, it is mine.
It is a story for those who believe. For those who want to believe. For those who want to open up the center of the heart. To allow it to emanate the feelings of love. To connect with others for joy, happiness, respect, compassion, understanding and generosity, and with loving oneself in a sincere and non egotistic way. In continuing intuitive awakening, for both spiritual and healing creation. With faith. With hope. With conviction to become a conduit to Love.
To become the purpose of Love and to serve it. It is a story to persevere until the last possible moment. It is a story of strength. Of courageous faith. Of divine hope. To love at all is to be vulnerable. It is a writing to bring about consciousness in the spiritual words "Faith", "Hope" and "Love".
Spiritual words are of such importance in bringing our journey to reality. Conveying non-material concepts and relate them to the functions of the spiritual inner person. Setting important spiritual effects upon the functions of the fleshly body of the individual. It is, in opening the Door of Life (the heart), that love forges great significance for the god consciousness, for the great compassion, of the higher self and the awakening of the soul.
The first time I met Nattawat was in 2004. He was 24 years old. A young Thai guy who had just, for the first time in his adulthood, fallen in love. He connected with someone and thought to himself of how lucky he had been to meet another person and to begin his dream for a lifetime relationship. His desire was simple - to fall in love and be loved in return.
Nattawat believed in Love. He wanted to fall in love. He wanted to be loved. He was never completely devoid of hope nor doubt his faith for love to happen. He knew, and accepted, the unfavourable situation he was in. He had fallen in love with someone whom was in another relationship. Nattawat knew he had become the 'Inconvenient Partner'. He knew the only thing, the saddest thing, was love didn't include him.
Over the next few years, he tried to give up. He wanted to diminish his dream for another dream. He had his conscience not to allow his emotions to go any farther; never to force an earthly act to work to his advantage. I knew he tried and, many times, his determination choked him.
For years, he took up a job that made him to be away from his homeland. To just let the dream be a dream; for Love to happen without ever chasing after it desperately. Hoping to sail away all the pains, the feelings of rejection and the inability to accept himself. Hoping, at the end of a strong willed determination and self banishment, he would not suffer from guilt. He made sure he would not be dominated by his emotions and feelings, putting himself above his own needs in an unbalanced way.
I met him again early 2008. He was still in love. Still with that someone since 2004. Still with that someone whom was in a relationship. While time leaped and bounded, to progress by forward springs, Nattawat was still trapped by his misfortune. The premise of his heart, where he held dear for this someone to share his life, was received with more sadness, sorrow and pain. It seemed his miscasts knew no bounds. It seemed so hard to forget and to let go. It seemed so hard to change a paradigm.
Nattawat was, and will always be, my lesson in life. A man who made his weakness his strength. A man, from the very day I met him, who was unable to shun away his full acceptance on his inability to fully possess a positive mindset yet stayed true to his heart. He knew, and fully in charge, of the block yet let the graciousness of Love to take its own course.
He owned, through his admission, all his inadequacies, the malfunctioning, to fill his soul with negative emotions of guilt, self pity and paranoia. He would never keep away all of these shortcomings. Nor did he rejoice in them. He just accepted them to drive him to change. He accepted them to recourse his life for spiritual victories.
His awareness earned my respect. It was, in the consciousness of being of what he thought of himself, of the self-trapped negative charged mindset, that would generate the virtues and to free him from the rope. Nattawat knew his negativity was stopping him to become a better person. He wanted change. He wanted to embrace the energy of being positive that can only change his misfortunes. His journey.
There is wisdom in all human. With and for Nattawat, he just knew that negativity and love are two separate entities. Negativity was his choice but Love is forever divine. The emotion of love, to Love, is very important for one to see God; the nurturer towards heaven. Inasmuch he detested his ways of thinking, he believed that love is universal.
As in many tales of great love story, love conquers all. There is always the metaphysical implication in such a situation. There is always a karmic interpretation for a lesson untold. Often misunderstood. Often condemned. Often we loathe the 'Inconvenient Partner' to cause the disruption.
When I met Nattawat early this year, his dream had become a reality. It took him many years to ride on a new found relationship with the person whom he had fallen in love with for so many years. Perseverance, surely, paid off. He had great patience. Indeed, in such a fast-paced society and our self-centered culture, his patience and the perseverance - Faith.Hope.Love - was the milestone gift of authenticity of the higher consciousness. Nattawat walked in a manner worthy of the calling to which he had been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.
Anyone can fall in love. It is easy to fall in love. Afterall, we are created from [the seed of] love. But, to fall in love with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy. An error can never become true however many times we repeat and try to undo it. The truth can never wrong even if no one hears it.
A relationship is an opportunity for two souls to learn a life lesson. The lesson that is to be learned is important so as to heighten an individual's life force (against the forces of nature) and liberating karmic debt to transcend consciousness. To bring about the consciousness of being and knowing. To raise the seed of love to grow and for all the emotions to function through feelings and ability to accept oneself. The basis of what is to be learned, and shared, creates formless thought that is alive and at peace. It brings forth our true nature, the true nature of all that is and is not, is Absolute Love. Love is Being nothing, and everything.
What lies deepest within us, in clearing karmic debt and in accomplishing life lesson, is a state of love and soul consciousness which extends beyond time and space and reveals itself in its innate urge to unite. Great loves often extend beyond lifetimes whereas the lovers will deeply love and connect in one lifetime. They then often meet again to perfect and celebrate their love in a future lifetime.
Our soul contains the event that shall befall it in that when we are in a state of soul consciousness, we can and often will intuit our next step on the path of our heart.
It is Faith, Hope and Love that bind us to our spiritual 'inner person'. That set and reward us for spiritual gifts. Faith is the basis for us to strive. Love is a gift, about giving that seeks the highest good and merit, and to let it flow continuously from where we come through how we live. Hope is the longing for intents to come true; providing present enjoyment for a future fulfillment.
Nattawat's story lives in my search for wisdom. For allowing me to learn that perseverance is the key in achieving any goal. It is an important virtue in order to bring joy in many aspects in life. That we can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough. Only those who keep his eyes fixed on the far horizon will find his right road.
Faith, Hope, Love - the rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede the victory.