Monday, April 05, 2010

No Expiry Date

Recently, I was asked to mediate a relationship with a goal to meet on a respectable level field and for a story to be told, to be listened to and to be heard.  It was about finding a worthy opportunity for settlement, for an amicable reconciliation, and for everything considerate to gain.  For a renewed commitment to bridge differences and to stay true, in all its tenderness and care, to each of the parties involved and for each other.  Mediation is a conviction filled with deserving worth, merit and value and never a sign of weakness for any couple who seeks the beauty and essence of a good relationship to become stronger and healthier.

A failed relationship can often end, without having desirable and positive qualities, into a state of no man's land between the traumatic life events of every man.  Worse, when a couple living under one roof is no longer able to maintain connections.  Or, when a couple insists each of his/her own way is the right one, making a determined belief for and on his/her rights, and closed all forms of communication.
Relationship presents complex dynamics and, often, it is common for conflicts to happen.  The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it meets the needs of the people.  We cannot control the way a partner acts but we can control how we react to a situation.  It takes a lifetime for a person to know his partner and no one should fool himself to claim otherwise.  It can only bring about disharmony when one starts to think that he knows another too well.

By the same dogma, if we could all become a better story teller, it would be easier to know ourselves and also share our ideas.  Fact is, we are constantly the strangers to ourselves.  There would always be surprises at what we know [or don't] about our own strengths and weaknesses and how we react differently towards them everytime everyday.  How then could it be a right thing for each one of us to say that we can fully understand another person well?  We don't even know how, at most time and at every twist of life, to take care of ourselves and to achieve tranquility to the stormy present.

The mediation is a  shower of blessing to my energy.  The session reminds me of the book, Brida by Paulo Coelho.  It takes me into a forgotten, perhaps a granted, dimension about the beauty of life.  In the book, Paulo wrote "In his or her life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant.  Builders may take years over their tasks, but one day they will finish what they are doing.  Then they will stop, hemmed in by their own walls.  Life becomes meaningless once the building is finished.  Those who plant suffer the storms and the seasons and rarely rest.  Unlike a building, a garden never stops growing.  And by its constant demands on the gardener’s attention, it makes the gardener’s life a great adventure.”

I feel blessed as it involves two individuals, that I have known for such a long time and for them to have been in a relationship spanning almost 40 years, to give me the opportunity to recognize love.  Bless as the mediation is about us taking a walk together from the visible world over into the invisible and to learn lessons of both those worlds.  It is about cementing true friendship and to bring about renewed life cycle to people who I care so much.  Bless as it is a heartwarming eye opener to the karmic connection of soul mate.

The mediation awakens the spiritual consciousness about acceptance.  It nourishes my soul to the acts of letting go and to accept what is Just-Is.  It makes me human and to realize the joy in soul mate.  About what life is and how it brings people together for a greater lesson for each other.  About love that has no expiry date.  That love conquers it all.  That love forgives.  About a great relationship that holds all the lessons about growth, about acceptance, about forgiveness, and the realization and desire to re-learn what had been forgotten.  All in the name of respect to be earned and for love to bear no expiry date.

Maintaining a good and strong relationship requires a lot of effort, sincerity and dedication.  It requires understanding and a capacity to forgive.  It is also important to remember, that even when a relationship is going well and smooth, it should never be taken for granted, soul mate or otherwise.

Every relationship is unique, complex and multi-dimensional.  We have our own way of understanding and feeling.  We build a relationship and unconsciously put ourselves to the hands of our loved ones in the hope that the relationship will provide our happiness.  Over time, we even expect that our partner is supposed to know exactly what, when and how to provide this happiness.  Unknowingly, we become completely ignorant of the the function of a relationship that is supposed to make one feels complete.  Happiness is only a by product and is still our responsibility to bear. 

A relationship can be a great way to have fun and create a special bond.  It is a great opportunity to learn a lot about oneself and the one we care for.  The fundamental thing in maintaining a healthy relationship is the ability of partners to listen.  When we are able to listen to another person, we are given a chance to understand deeper about him/her.  In its turn, it makes our partner feels that he/she is worthy of being listened to.  Trust increases the value of any relationship.

It is very important, from the very beginning, to talk to each other.  To nurture each other and give each other, in all fields, the support.  Keeping the line of communication opens and to share about everyday happenings in life, share opinions, thought and feelings will open the door to know each other much better and get to know of each other's likes and dislikes.  It is only then that trust sanctifies this relationship.

Relationship is meant to give us the parts that we can never have on our own.  It is about finding the missing part, about furnishing the yin to the yang.  That completeness, over the time discovering one another through a relationship, makes our world go round.  It makes an individual to feel that he/she is capable of anything.

A relationship does not mean that partners never argue or disagree about anything.  It is always good to remind ourselves that we are still imperfect, even when we have found someone to love or  experiencing an intensed incarnated love attachment with a soul mate .  We are just humans who have our ups and downs.  We have our own ideas about tastes in food, about how we eat, about the musics and movies we listen and watch, about the words and languages we speak, about what we wear or just about visiting or not visiting friends and families in the weekend.

Soul mates are no difference and they themselves can be easily be victims to conflicts.  Their destiny lies with their particular lessons that have to be learned before the next spiritual level, or dimension, is reached.  Soul mates fall in love, again and again, to define for particular type of relationship that is chosen to achieve it.  It entails a realization and heightened awareness to let each one of them to grow spiritually and emotionally.

It is a written belief that there is, at least, one ideal soul mate for everyone and when we could just find each other, we would live together forever in bliss.  Most people can have several soul mates to compliment in one lifetime and the older a soul is, the more they have.  It is documented, through many works on past life regression and the many articles on soul mate, that we all have another half, and more, and we are not complete until we are united with that person. 

One soul mate may come into a relationship to teach his/her partner about strength.  While another might teach about compassion.  All the learnng process in relationships involves trials and errors before the necessary growth.  For development and evolution to complete, consciousness plays a large content of aspects.  The energy bond between soul mates will always find its way to teach each other new lessons.

The key to maintain a stronger and healthier relationship, however, is not to copy each other but to allow all the parties to feel good about who they are.  Honesty should not be under-rated and doubts must not come in between.  Generally, people just hate to be doubted.  As soon as it happens, any relationship can go down in an instant. 

Promises, when they are made, are to be honored and not conveniently said to be forgotten.  Words provide the energy to bond the relationship stronger.  Be committed to the words we relay to our partners.  The more we talk about our joy and pride, fears and problems to each other, the easier the karmic connections shall become.  It is essential to realize that learning about how to work things out together is a key to a blissful relationship.

We must constantly remind ourselves not to try to change our partner.  To be in a relationship where one just lives with a hope that another will change is unhealthy.  As humans, we will just get disappointed waiting for someone to change, while the other will get upset not being accepted for who they are.

The value of a good relationship is priceless. Even more so when we are in a relationship with our soul mate.  When it has come, we just need to embrace the relationship, nurture it and savour it and try to maintain by all possible means.

In Brida, Paulo Coelho said "true love allows each person to follow his or her own path, aware that doing so can never drive them apart'.  Love with no expiry date is "when you find your way you cannot be scared.  You need to be brave enough to take wrong steps.  The deceptions, failures, lack of enthusiasm, are tools that God places in our way to reveal the path'.

"The path to wisdom is not being afraid to make mistakes" he said.  Life is, and will be, beautiful "every time you wish something, keep your eyes wide open, focus and know exactly what you want.  No one hits the target with eyes closed".

That is what a relationship should be about.  Not the transient feeling of happiness but the realization that we, as imperfect individual, can create a beautiful, if not perfect whole.  Whether we choose to find happiness from there, is still our choice, but it is not going to be something given to us when we find someone we love.  It has always been, and should be, something we create.

A happy relationship is only true when happiness is shared.

Quotes from Brida, a Paulo Coelho novel:

"But how will I know who my Soulmate is?"

"By taking risks," Wicca said to Brida.

"By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search of love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end"

I guess the triumphant of love - one that is written with no expiry date, with soul mates are when all things click and when hearts keep coming back to each other even after the worst case scenario.

    About Me

    I am a certified Master in Traditional USUI REIKI and KARUNA REIKI. I am also a certified practitioner in MAGNIFIED HEALING and INNER DANCE.

    I have been teaching and conducting spirituality, healing and energy works (including Breathing Techniques, Meditation and Spinal Qiqong) for more than two decades.

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    a) Life / Motivational Coach
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