Friday, December 09, 2011

From A Distance

Watch closely those who always tell you how honest they are.  Watch closely those who always tell you how innocent they are.

Does honesty exist in a vacuum? Are you ethical when you’re all alone?

This morning, after doing my usual morning chores, I felt about a most wonderful experience.  I felt that God had stood next to me.  I felt that God was engaging into conversation.  I felt His loving connection; it was comforting me.  There was no doubt that it was Him.  I heard his words, "Go over the window and see what I have done".

For the early part of the morning, I was a little troubled with my past action.  I felt a little uneasy thinking what I had done.  I felt uncertain about my guidance, the sharing which I vocalized and the strong expression and articulation just to prove a point.  It sounded too harsh.  It sounded un-sympathetic.  It sounded dogmatic as if authoritative and of unproved principles.

I felt uneasy reflecting on my words and actions.  Yet, somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I had done the right thing.  Certain things in life just could not be negotiated.  All that I wanted to do, during the sharing session, was to relay a conviction - 'Take ownership'.

Take Ownership

It is just human nature.  Humans often need to re-member to progress.  In order for us to maximize our abilities, each of us to become seriously realistic about what we do and how we do it.  We have to get to the point where we know our abilities better than anyone, and not the other way round.  We need to work to maximize our strengths, our successes so that they will outweigh our weakness and our failures.

It is the way with our life.  When we never really measure our lives, we cannot hope to make our lives better.  Taking ownership to realize our capabilities, and then our weaknesses, can easily let us see which direction we need to take.  More importantly, we are taking ownership of our life.

Last week, I had a conversation with a parent.  It started when they shared with me about their daughter.  How I would view her as a growing adolescent, now that she had reached her nineteenth year.  How I would regard her medical condition as to whether she was (really) going through depression.

I knew this girl, the daughter, when she was little.  When she was still a baby.  To me, she was special.  To me, she had grown to be a gentle and unassuming young lady.  She had a beautiful aura and developed a beautiful attitude and personality.

The parents had come to me seeking help to heal her.  They felt sad and disturbed to find out she was suffering from depression.  Strangely, the prognosis was concluded (after her visit with a medical doctor) based on her insomnia.  She had troubles falling or staying asleep.  When I chatted with her, I felt it was just a transient insomnia, commonly affected many young people these days.

Forgive me, but I often felt that the younger generation today had little knowledge on the values of life.  They lacked to be polite and take responsibilities lightly.  Perhaps, it had to do with the way the parents cared for them.  Perhaps, it had to do with the way the parents prepared them during their younger days.  Many parents had become over protected and, unfortunately, felt it was their way of providing love and support.

I was blunt to put blame on her parents.  Fingers were pointed, remarks made, where they had over protected this girl.  I felt she had an overdose of love and protection.  Yes, parents needed to give love and protection to their children.  These constituted legitimate virtues and responsibilities for parents to provide, motivate and encourage their children.  Parents had to be supportive and cultivate concerns for the children well-being.

But that did not mean that parents could excuse the child from labouring a little bit with house works. A good parenting produced children who would be confident, optimistic and high in self-esteem and self-worth.  Parents should always remember that childhood development could be influenced not only by what the parent did for the child but crucially how they did it.

Unfortunately, and this was where I strongly disagreed, many parents today had become too soft with their children.  They gave in easily and making excuses that children today lived far more difficult and challenging time.   They made it convincing that children today faced stressful lifestyles.  Charged with their responsibility to care, they probably fooled themselves to believe that children today suffered more demanding and harder period.

Such mindset made parents to become the child's slave.  They willingly 'served' them - doing all the house chores, cooked their meals, ironed their clothes and on top of that, parents spent a large part of their income on the children.  Most parents paid too much attention to their children, providing love and protection, and never let them suffer from any pain.  What was utmost important would be the parents kept trying so hard in trying to provide the best possible for their children.

I strongly felt that children of the 50s, 60s and 70s went through even harder and trying life.  There was no Internet, no sophisticated transport system, no washing machine and washer dryer, no vacuum cleaner.  Even if there were, these things did not come cheap and there were purely luxuries items.

Somehow, there was a price that all of us must pay for modernization.  There were environmental problems and the modernisation of our economic activities.  Modernization, inevitably, set in train a series of closely related changes with profound social, economic and ecological implications.  Personally, and do not take me seriously here, humans could be narrow minded even though they were in the midst of modernization.

Because of unrealistic expectations for the children, parents struggle hard all their life to make as much money as possible but gradually they lose themselves.  They lost to teach the children to be human.  They were consumed with the mentality and urge to provide the children with easy life.

Personally, I had witnessed another mother who would provide everything for her daughter.  From washing and ironing her working clothes, serving dinner and washing the plates to cleaning up  the daughter's room.  What the daughter did was just to relax, played her ipad and watched her favourite TV shows.  The excuse was "she is so busy and stressful with her works"!

I had been having trouble with this mindset.  I always felt that when a child grew to be adult, the parents had to stop thinking that they were still children.  Children had to be trained, to be taught and to cultivate right habits.

In the case of the parents that I spoke too, and perhaps many more similar situations unknown, their daughter had grown to become overly dependent.  When there would be nothing much to do at home - when house works were never an ending tasks,  their daughter lost the sense of life.  Naturally, time management and discipline became problems.

God came this morning to give me a nudge.  To be softer on myself.  To forgive myself for reacting so hard on myself.  I had asked for signs to show that I had been voicing out reasonable facts.

This morning, as God asked me to look over the window and from a distance, I witnessed a mother giving training to her little daughter.  How she was teaching, step by step, to the daughter to hang the wet laundry out.  This daughter would probably be just about fourteen years old. 

The mother got this young girl to lift the long bamboo pole and brought it into the house.  Then, she got her to take out the bamboo pole out again.  And again back into the house.  When the bamboo pole was brought out this time, it had some wet clothes pegged on the pole. 

Indeed, I was fascinated.  I stood there, by the window, for good fifteen minutes.  I knew the mother was teaching this girl something good.  I could see good bonding between the mother and her daughter.  I sensed love and not maltreatment.

The last thing I witnessed was when the mother got the daughter to take in the mop.  I was sure that the next lesson was about to begin.  I had a gut feeling that she was about to teach the young girl how to clean the house.  Much later, probably an hour had passed, when I stood by the window again and I saw the young girl hanging out the mop.  She had probably finished another good lesson.

I knew God wanted me to witness all these.  I knew God wanted to tell me that I had my reasons to 'lecture' my friends and let the reasons be good and rational.  I knew He knew that I just had good intentions.  God willing.

    About Me

    I am a certified Master in Traditional USUI REIKI and KARUNA REIKI. I am also a certified practitioner in MAGNIFIED HEALING and INNER DANCE.

    I have been teaching and conducting spirituality, healing and energy works (including Breathing Techniques, Meditation and Spinal Qiqong) for more than two decades.

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