Nothing Is A Coincidence Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Thursday, April 23, 2009

The more I observe the world around me, the more I believe that nothing is a coincidence.  A lot of our daily interactions, all the reciprocal actions and reactions in our daily life, are not just random quirks of the Universe.  We need to watch our thoughts and possibly every thought that comes to mind.  Results depend on where the thought is - it sets up an entire chain of counter reactions and actions.  There is a reason for everything.  Even tragedy.  And, I would always want to believe that everything that happens will happen for a good reason.

There is significant message in every event of our lives.  From the most joyful and empowering to the inexplicable or seemingly unjust.  We just need to discover the meaning in what has happened and to see these experiences as gifts.  As lessons.  As opportunities.  We need to see every difficulty as a challenge.  A stepping stone.  Coincidences have genius, magic and power in them.  They are "designed" to be our conversation with God.  They are there for a reason and we should never be defeated by anything, or anyone.  They are the dawn of change for us to use of the nature's way.  They are the forces close at hand untried.

It cannot be only a coincidence, that afternoon when I spoke to Ruby not to fight nor struggle anymore that she slipped my hands to join the Rainbow Bridge later.  Coincidences follow a set pattern and have a higher purpose.  It is just that we fail to notice it.  We are unable to notice because we are often too caught up with our busy schedule.  With our refusal to see the truth.  With our disregard to our higher awareness.  With all the clouds of scepticism.

Two weeks before Ruby passed away, an incident happened when I thought she had gone missing.  For a good twenty minutes, I could not find her in the house and thought I had lost her.  I was frantic.  I was crying.  She felt my emotions.  The Universe must have led her to know that I may not reach the dawn saved by the path of the night should she passed away in the house.

We need to smell the roses, so to speak and to pause to ponder in order for us to link the usual happenings, in our daily life, for a greater scheme of things.  Answers to all our doubts, worries and fears - or even joy, are right in front of us all the time.  Question is, are we conscious enough to associate them?  To become natural with the flow and find solace and strength in our lives.  Becoming aware of the coincidences is one definite step towards our spiritual evolution.

We are living not in a material universe but exist within a universe that has been created out of dynamic energy.  When we discover the true meaning of the events in our life that everything changes.  We become wiser when we see how everything connects.

Those spoken words told to Ruby as not to fight and struggle any longer were reflection of my mental past.  I was not in touch with the life that I intend to lead.  Until I get to it, nothing is going to feel right.  It is her death that makes sense of the catastrophe.  I am overcoming obstacles to realize my potential, strength and will power.  To be in harmony within a relationship, reaching a stage of philosophical understanding at one with the world.

When the light has appeared, where does the darkness go?  How can one wish to hold for long the light of the setting sun?

Nothing is a co-incidence.  The people we meet affect our life.  The successes and downfalls that we experience create who we are.  The rejections and the bad experiences can be lessons about trust.

We may think we have a choice in what we do, but in reality, we will always make the same decision when all the situations around us remain the same.  The one we think is the right one at that time.  The right way, or passage, does not belong to things seen nor to things unseen.  It does not belong to things known, nor to things unknown.  We just have to open ourselves as wide as the sky to allow the way.

For now, it is about time that I should start trusting my intuition rather than letting practicality override all my thoughts.  The thing is, everyone of us have an inherent energy that can be projected in any direction if only we can focus on it for long.  We just need to allow our souls with the power of positive thinking.  No soul that aspires can ever fail to rise; no heart that loves can ever be abandoned.

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The God in Me Greets The God in You Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Thursday, April 16, 2009

Had a good conversation, and a healing session,  with a dear friend yesterday.

Dear Friend [DF] :  It seems that you have an unresolved grief.  I would classify it as 'guilt'.  Do you want to talk about it?

Me :  I am very much aware of what is happening.  It has become an internal struggle.  I am threading on a thin line between letting go and holding on to her memories.

DF  :  What have you let go?  Just listening to you, it dawns on me that you are stuck with the events on her last day.  You beat yourselves up for all the things you had done what you did.  But we cannot bring her back.  We cannot change what you did or did not do.

What we can do is to stop hurting ourselves.  Each of us, in our own way, did what we thought was right at the time, using what we knew and felt.  Each of us tried to do the best we could, and did it with the intention of love.  We are human beings, with frailties and faults.  We don't know everything.  We make mistakes.  But we make them with the best of intentions.  I am sure you did exactly that too.

To hurt yourself with the terrible additional pain of guilt is to do dis-service to the love you have for Ruby.  She is gone and out of pain.  Be fair to who you are now.

Me :  Somehow, thinking about her last day makes me sad.  Not so much of guilt but the chord of awareness between us that took place.  The divinity at work.

DF  :  When we didn't know enough, or made an innocent mistake, do we believe that she did not understand?  And love and forgive you in spite of it?  I believe she does and that what dogs do.

You need to forgive yourself.  You need to quit blaming yourself for being a caregiver.  For being human.  Know that Ruby does not blame you.  She understands because she knows your heart.
 

Let's go through that last day.  Make it accountable.  That's the only way you can let it go.  I am not going to judge but I am here to provide lessons for you, for us, to keep learning.  Every pebble of knowledge will ripple.

****************************************************

As suggested by a dear friend that I should journalise the event, and here it goes:

The Day As It Happened
- without rational process

That morning, I woke up with a heavy heart.  In fact, I would always feel down whenever Ruby was not feeling well.  Whenever she would be restless and not her normal self.  I would always have the thought that her heart or liver, or even her blood count, would be 'in danger'.  Her last medical check-up, on 14th February, didn't show a good sign.  She was not in any health danger but we were warned, by the Vet, to monitor her closely and to see for vital signs of organs failing.

When F left the house that morning, Ruby was not whining.  She was not even strong enough to stand up and get off the bed.  She was fine the day before.  But that morning, she was rather weak.  Somewhat restless.  Ruby would always whine or make some noise everytime F was about to leave the house.  I carried her and we both sent F off to work.

I put her back on the bed, stroked to comfort her and went on to do my morning routine.  I expected her to come to find me in the kitchen, which she would normally do whenever I left her too long alone in the bedroom.  Where she would either just come to see what I would be doing and walked back to the bedroom or the balcony.  Or she would be sitting around if she wanted to eat something. 

Somehow that morning, I had a deja vu.  I had the exact feeling of my late dad.  I decided to check on her.  There she was, laid restlessly on the bed, only opening her eyes to look at me.  My heart sank.

Resting on the bed, I gave her Reiki treatment.  She would normally respond well.  After about half an hour, I let her rest and tried to force myself to do my stuffs.  But somehow, I felt like doing nothing.  I spent the rest of the day lying with her.  Stroking and petting her and never stopped to give Reiki.  She was too weak for anything.  Not even able to drink nor eat.  

That day, I decided not to give her the medicines.  I struggled with the decision because the meds were important to her.  But somehow, I just could not do it.  I knew she would be struggling to swallow them even if I forced it.  I just didn't feel it was a right thing to do that day.

F called in the afternoon telling me that he had made an appointment with the Vet for Saturday.  Somehow, he just knew.  Somehow, instinctively, he knew we needed to bring Ruby to the Vet.  We felt Ruby would be better after a day of inactivity and Saturday would not make that much difference.  I then told him that Ruby had not even been out of the bed since that morning. 

Tried to spoonfeed her some water few times.  She could only lift up her head but didn't drink even though I felt she wanted to. I was at my low as time passed. 

Looking at her struggling to stand up made it worst for me.  She tried to go to the toilet.  That broke my heart actually.  Slowly, she managed to do it but it took her a long while.  She had to stop few times, probably, to find more strength before continuing to the paper for her business.  I felt terribly sad just looking at her, at how she struggled, and not knowing what would be the right thing to do.  I felt she was doing her best, wanting to do the right thing.  It looked like she was in great pain and fighting it off.

I carried her around the house.  Took her to the kitchen hoping that she would have appetite to eat.  She was not in the mood.  Perhaps, she was feeling too weak to eat anything.  Back in my arms, she gave a little struggle when I was carrying her at the window.  She loved looking out but not that afternoon.

I carried her back to the bed.  That afternoon when I stroked her, and for the first time, I cried.  I just could not control anymore.  I felt terribly sad.  Ruby just looked at me.  And for the first time, I told her "Ruby, you are very sick dear.  Should you need to go, go peacefully.  Don't fight anymore.  Don't struggle anymore.  We will always love you."  Those words just came and I sobbed uncontrollably.  There was a sense of guilt afterwards.  Yet, I felt it was the right thing to do.

I spent the rest of the day sleeping next to her.  When it was time for F to come home, Ruby tried to get out of the bed.  I helped her, thinking that she might want to go to the toilet again.  Instead, she walked out of the bedroom heading towards the balcony.  I felt relieved.  At last, she was walking again.

I just looked at her from behind.  She managed slow and small steps.  I tried getting her to go to the kitchen.  For her to eat something.  She continued heading to the balcony.  She fell as she got there and struggled to stand up.  Again, I was hit with sadness and tears just rolled down.  There were heaps of sorrow.  I felt lost and restless at the same time.

I carried and placed her to the sofa.  Stroking and comforting her.  My tears just kept rolling down.  I tried not to cry.  I didn't want to spread my sadness to her.  Somehow, something was telling me that she wanted to greet F as he got home.  When F got home soon after that, she stood up and sat on her paws.  She was too weak to wag but we knew she was happy.

We decided to go to the Vet that evening.  Somehow, we felt we could not wait till Saturday.  Ruby needed medical attention.  Her stomach was bloated.

Ruby was pretty quiet when we told her that we would bring her to the clinic.  She would normally bark whenever we were leaving the house, but not this time.  Not even struggling when we were in the taxi.  She just laid quietly on my laps.  We waited for almost an hour before the Vet could attend to her.  By then, we had the Clinic Assistant to get the blood test done.

It was only when the Vet was examining her, that we noticed she had turned yellow.  We were asked to look out for such sign but it wasn't there earlier.  It was jaundice.  We had more bad news.  Her blood test didn't show good results.  The Vet told us that her blood count was extremely low.  She was anaemic.  And her liver was failing.  She needed to be hospitalised.  She needed to be given drips.  And further test will only be carried out the next morning.  We were reluctant to leave her there but the Vet assured us "Ruby will be alright.  She will not passed away."

Ruby looked calm when we stroked her before we left.  Not even moving.  Just staring at us.  We told her that we had to leave her there and that we would be back tomorrow.  She looked at us as we walked out of the room.  Just looking.  There was no struggle.  There was no whining.  It was, somehow, a calm feeling as we bade goodbye.  And she just kept looking at us with peace in her eyes.

We cried the minute we were out of the clinic.  We felt lost.  Somehow, we didn't feel good.  We comforted each other echoing the Vet's assurance and just to pray for the best.  We planned to visit her the next day, with me going in the afternoon first.  I did more distant Reiki that night.

Somehow, at about 4.30 in the morning, I suddenly woke up.  There was an uneasy feeling.  I felt there was a flash of light.  My thoughts were with Ruby.  I told F that Ruby was calling.  We dismissed any negative thought and continued to pray and went back to sleep.

We planned the day.  We hoped for the best.  Just after 9 a.m., the Vet called me.  My world had shattered.  Suddenly, there was a huge tsunami clouding me.  My heart broke as he said "I am very sorry ..."

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Life Without Ruby Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, April 12, 2009

It has been 24 days.  Twenty four lonely days without our beloved Ruby.  As we are slowly adapting to our new routine, the pain still remains the same.  The bruises fade but we have lost an arm.  Only all the loving memories will keep us alive.  Reiki Sanctuary has become quiet because it has to be.  This quietness is part of a bigger meaning, part of the mind and the access of perfection to a new life chapter.

Change comes naturally.  And in such a catastrophic change, it is inevitable for the possibility of change inherent in our emotional, and perhaps, spiritual growth and development.  We are reaching out to peace.  More importantly, we are trying to embrace and assimilate quality of life.  For higher meaning.  Of the intangibles, only for the purity of the souls.  For deeper joy to house graciousness towards love.  Sincerity.  Honesty.

We are keeping what is important to us.  To live for, and by, it.  To become similar to a new environment.  To take only the best and throw the rest.  Beyond that, we are seeking for a deeper shared sense of caring and concern.  A desire to grow and develop.  To accomplish spontaneous overflow of hope and tranquility.

One fleeting brilliance of light during our grief comes from the realization for true friendship.  A reflection inward of our attitude and behaviour.  Of how we are reaching out to them.  Reality is, we have friends - people whom we know and probably, just close acquaintances, and a lot gets talked about friendship.  The quantity of them that can fill all hours of the days.

The last 24 days put us to shame.  Of what we have always taken friendship so lightly.  True friendship involves relationship.  And, we learn it alot from Ann and Pat.  Through all their givings.  In all their actions.  Gripped with their convictions to make sure we continue on with our journey with peace.  And acceptance.  They make no excuses of having work or appointments, or anything, but will be with us.  Investing their time for our growth.  Sharing our lives, thoughts, feelings and frustrations.

They 'force' their presence in our hours of sorrow.  And 'force' has become such a positive action.  Acting and doing something and expecting nothing in return.  Allowing us to talk and just to listen.  Allowing us to be irrational yet radiates empathy.  Building companionship and common bond of some kind.  Their calls and visits, at odd hours, and organizing activities [just for us]  make us felt blessed.  To them, they just want the best for us.  It is in their true friendship that encourages us and make us to forgive one another where there has been an offense.  With them, unconditional love develops.

So today, we just want to say thank you to them.  The ones who have stuck by us through thick and thin.  You have shown us the real reason of true friendship and we just hope we are able to show it to others.

In poverty and other misfortunes of life,
true friends are a sure refuge.
The young they keep out of mischief;
to the old they are a comfort
and aid in their weakness,
and those in the prime of life,
they incite to noble deeds.

-  Aristotle

They bring meaning to this quote:-

"When there is love, nothing is too much trouble.  There is always time."

.. and so, we are praying we are not too late to realize.

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When Tears Are Lessons For Us To Learn Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Monday, April 06, 2009

This ads, aired on Channelnewsasia, comes just at the right time.  Alright, it gives me reasons to cry bucket again.  But this time, my tears are for different reasons.  It is full of poignant memory and relevant with Ruby's departure.

The ads is asking us to appreciate relationship.  It is about acceptance.  It provides sermons to treasure what we have while we have it.  It is a story about how imperfections make a relationship perfect.  It is the small things that we should remember - those little imperfections.  These little imperfections that will make them perfect for us.

Hope you will learn something from it too.  Enjoy.

MCYS TV Ads - Funeral

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