When Words Don't Come Easy Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, February 03, 2012

If you wipe someone’s ass don’t complain about getting shit on your hands.



Why, when we have a higher developed brain structure, yet we stammer or stumble or forget what we want to say.  Worse, we just cannot find the right words nor phrases to express the exact feelings.  Even when we think that we find the right words, they are just not enough to express the messages of these thoughts perfectly. 

I have come across with this situation often of late.  I can 'read' my thoughts internally but I stumble over my words, or phrases, out loud.  My mind comprehends the subject and that (I think) I could analyze better.  Sub-consciously, I have gotten to the point where I just do not wish to speak much because it has become a hassle.

There are so much things that I 'see' in my thoughts, in my mind.  Whenever there are issues presented to my attention, I see not only the source but the whole entire scenario - direct or indirectly.  It is like watching a show with all the background and backdrop.  It is like the whole universe conspiring around the sequence of events.  There are raising emotions to these thoughts, to every situation. 

The other day, a friend was sharing with me about her problem.  I could feel the whole energy surrounded the problem.  Yet, I find it difficult to precisely express them all.   I find difficulty expressing what I 'see' and had to slice my thoughts into pieces to get the messages out.

I also had problem expressing the right message intended to suggest a particular answer talking to another friend recently.  It was hard for me to share with her how I felt about her awakened spirit; how her spirit needed to be addressed.  It resulted in miscommunication though the situation resolved through time, through another experience.

My experience to establish a common language with my sister took me weeks.  I had a hard time explaining to her about her spiritual awakening.  About her soul rebirth that I detected through the change of colors in her auric fields.

The good thing, I am conscious about these out of sync stints.  I can feel the gaps between what is in my mind and what stop me from, correctly, speak the words out.  Though it frustrates me at times, I do feel relieved somewhat.  I am made aware that people will forget what I say, they forget what I did but they will never forget how I make them feel.

Perhaps, God is guiding me on a process - just that I am not able to be one with it.  Perhaps, I have limited vocabulary.  Perhaps, I have expressive language disorder.  Perhaps, it has to do with my ego.  Perhaps, it has to do with self control towards what can be said and what is best left unsaid.

Perhaps, my consciousness is changing and shaping the next stage of life.  What I see, what I feel does not require me to say it all out, at least at some instances.  It has to do, probably, with the way I used to think - that life lessons are best not told to you but how you choose to learn from the experience. 

We all grow up, becoming more aware of our existence and purpose, when we have a relation with our past.  When we come to understand our past thoughts and actions.  This special relationship can almost revamp for the better future.  Others may have their opinions, just the way we all do, about certain things but soul awakening can't never be the same as realizing it on your own. 

If struggle has a purpose, I now learn to become conscious of how my mind works.  I learn to slow things down, to give myself time to 'feel' and embrace the situation.  To let the consciousness of my mind to scan through every images that conjure up and to understand the reasons why they are there.  I learn to be aware of my breath, the same breath that creates the spirit and vitality of my life.

I learn to laugh at myself when words, or a string of words, are messed up.  This way, it makes me even more human.  This way, it makes to accept that I am not a perfect man. 

I can only hope, God willing, it is about my awakening towards not to doubt what I am feeling.  To what I am visually seeing.  Perhaps, it is about a shift with my consciousness evolution.  Perhaps, it is about a higher dimension restructuring the energy circuits of my body.

Maybe, God willing, it has to do with the process of re-genesis to activate my soul memory to a higher dimensional energy pattern as Mother Earth advances.