Only when you own happiness that you live
Happiness is said to be a journey and it is never a destination. Aristotle said "Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence". Let's face it, happiness has nothing to do with all the material things or with the outward circumstances a person can gain . A person living in the pool of luxury can be miserable and another in the depth of poverty can be overflowed with happiness.
We just cannot hold a torch to light another's soul without brightening our own. For example, if a friend is always complaining about his misfortune and all the negative events around him, we have very little control over what he says. For all the reasons he allows himself to think that his life sucks most time, there is nothing for us to gain from trying to change nor read his mind to change his attitude. However, we have the options either to agree to disagree or disagree to agree.
On the other hand, to put ourselves in his shoe, we would likely blame others for the way we feel too. The reality check here is there is always comfort in doing that. Unfortunately, the world we live in has provided us with unconscious conditioning to use unhappiness to take care of ourselves. We use discomfort to move ourselves and when that discomfort becomes more intense, we are not simply angry with ourselves but with someone else. Little that we know, such is a trap that we fall into.
While it is good that we need to constantly think to be happy everyday and at every moment, it is not an easy energy to respond to. It is not something that we can just apply and getting an automatic response when we call upon it. It is not something that we can just pluck from the sky nor drink or eat the Happiness Pill and have it transformed. As it is, humans are generally embroiled with negativity and happiness has become a working conscious choice. It is something that we need to work on. The fact is, all of us want to be happy but, unfortunately, the reality to our daily undertakings can often be daunting.
The operative word here is 'choice'. As long as we know our response to stimulus is a choice, we can create happiness that we deserve. Our duty is always for our own good first and not someone else. Selfish as it may sound, the basic simple questions that we need to answer are 'What is happiness to me?' and 'Why is happiness so important to me?'
In most (if not all) cases that I have dealt involve with the desire to find happiness. Many feel that it is such an elusive energy. Happiness, while it has to be within us, is now being associated with the world - as the example above. It is being connected with all the people around us. It is constantly brought into relations with events that are happening around us. It is, as though, happiness is an intimate relationship and companionship within us and what is external.
In another example, some of us have to live a different life as not to upset a social dynamic. We lie and dismiss our wants to put others first. We live on their values. Such an action is easy given our social environment - what some may foolishly think to work on a win-win situation. Needless to say, we are just trying to create happiness but waging an internal war with ourselves.
Somehow, it makes me to be reminded how hard it seems to sustain happiness. People tend to look to things (outside them) to make them happy. It is the energy of what they see, touch, hear, smell and feel that makes them to think they find happiness. The truth is, in such a situation, these individuals are not embracing happiness but a temporary demeanor.
For a long time, it has always seemed there is always some obstacle before we could allow happiness to happen. Before happiness begins, there is always something to be gotten through first - some unfinished business to settle, time to be served or a debt to be paid. It is in such perspective that there is no way for happiness to happen.
Experience has taught me that happiness can be safely sustained when there is peace within the boundaries of my own inner self. In Dancing With The Mind, I admitted being selfish. Still, I believe in giving myself first in order to create happiness and peace. In that blog, I wrote:
"But what will happen should I ignore about my being, my health, my career and not able to support them in return? How can I provide them when I am constantly troubled with life? How can I give love when I do not know how to love myself? How can I let them to live comfortably when I do not have a good career? How can I nurse them should we are struck with illnesses at the same time?"
Paradoxically, this thinking process is the easiest way to work towards walking with happiness yet the most difficult too. It is, somewhat, easy because it requires nothing beyond myself - only re-tuning some mental and emotional works within myself. However, it is difficult as there are many ingrained attitudes, prejudices and assumptions to overcome.
Ultimately, I believe when we understand about happiness, we nurture our soul for what it is. We are nurturing for the same state for peace of mind, inner ease, a sense of self-fulfillment and a communion with God. That is to allow our BEing to take charge to keep going. At the same time, it provides the impetus to strive forward and anticipate for the future. The process of being happy is simple - it is all about making a decision based on choice and the quest to create a more sustainable living.
Importantly, happiness comes from a steady progress towards meaningful insights to life. Finding our happiness will help us to pursue our dreams, find our passion and seek joy in life. It is said that everything we do and how things fall back on us depend on our attitude. That much I believe too. It takes our attitude to do what it takes to make it.
Finding happiness is not a direct line with specific steps. It is filled with trials and error, wrong turns and delightful discoveries. All we need is to open our consciousness and commit ourselves to a process of self awareness.
I offer Reiki Distant Healing