You Will Be Remembered Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Saturday, October 15, 2011

No creature wants to suffer or feel pain. Help others obtain joy.


In Loving Memory ...

It seems that we are often greeted with missed chances.  That our time to meet, for the last few months, have not been favourable.  Yet, we both know that we are not going to regret on these missed opportunities.  They are there for a reason.  We just have to honour the subtle synchronicity .

For all that are missed, for all that are written in the Universal co-incidence, one thing remains unchanged.  We still have all the shared sweet memories right here in our heart.  We still treasure you as a good friend.

You will always be remembered, Susan Ho.

Today, as we received the sad news of your passing, our hearts are filled with sorrow.  Yet, we know that you are surrendering for the highest good.  To a home that will house you in peace and in comfort.  Free of all the pain.

We will always remember you as  one dear friend, Susan.  We will always remember you as one tough individual who believes in doing the right thing.  You had lived a courageous life.  You cared your loved ones dearly.

Today, all your friends are in prayers.  Today, all your loved ones are in prayers.  You, our dear friend Susan, will always be remembered.   May you rest in peace.

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When Days Are Numbered Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Monday, July 18, 2011

Yes, it’s called samsara. Take a number, get in line, we could be here awhile. Some of us have a plan to get outta here early.


In just a period of two months, I come across three situations where I am told that so-and-so has only XX numbers of days to live.  The term that is used, and I learn that a hospital would describe it, is 'awaiting the end of life'.  In each situation, there is a voice of sadness.  There is a feeling of loss.  It brings the whole family shattered with uneasy feelings.

First, there was Ruth 'Roofie' Thomson.  Then, it was the mother of a close friend.  These two had recently passed on and May Their Souls Rest In Peace.  And, just two days ago, I have been told that another friend, Susan Ho is now at her Stage Four of cancer. Her doctors has given her notice of 'awaiting the end of life'.

Personally, when I am told of it, I feel rather uneasy.  I feel that the phrase or term is rather distasteful but yet 'awaiting the end of life' is exactly right and appropriate.  It is exactly an expected medical prognosis for a situation to happen for a prediction of a highly probable course. 

Perhaps, it has to do with my take on separation and on death where a permanent departure can no longer be avoided.  It evokes a feeling of grief.  It evokes my past experiences on the loss of loved ones. It saddens me to feel the pains inflicted into my friends. Of how they would be grieving, of how they would be adjusting their lives and the emptiness and the sorrowful feelings that shall follow with the days after that.

Admittedly, I used not too good at handling such a situation.  I could be very much affected when there was a broken human engagement; a departure.  I could be all bummed-out when someone passed on.  I felt that I had been robbed of an earthly unison in human relations.  I felt broken and sad and there was a creeping sorrow that tailed me for days.

I felt a sense of loss.  In fact, I can still feel such emotions these days but less 'traumatized'.

It has to do with the discomforts that follow thereon where life, for those of us left behind, with new adjustments that have to be made.  To learn to live life without our loved ones.  It is such a situation where now made me filled with the sense of realization of my own time and then to the emotions of those people that I will, eventually, leave behind.

Being one who has probably had fair share of losses in my life: the death of my parents, the death of my eldest sister, the death of my beloved companion with Ruby, the death of my nephew; I have come to accept a fairly healthy attitude to death and dying.  While initially I can be all bummed-out to grief, death provides me the lesson about grieving, letting go and moving on.

Yes, it is a reality that our days are numbered.  One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day.  This is a call that many of us would prefer not to think about.  To some, it is a taboo (and many would think it is just 'rude' and plain 'negative') to think that we should live lives everyday to prepare for death.  It actually surprises me when some of my friends would dismiss such a guaranteed thing in the big equation of life.

While it is true that we need to lead a life to enjoy and to live a fullest life, I feel that one should also go on with his or her life to live with absolute quality.  We have to follow our passion, to figure out what it is that we love to do and have courage to do that. There must always be a feeling of peace to accompany, to all our actions and thoughts.  There must always be an equation of balance and harmony, to all our deeds and relationships.  It is not about the quantity to what we can achieve but to the heart's attitude that counts.  Oscar Wilde wrote "Men die for what they want to be true".

But, what is the truth?  This is something that we, as an individual, should find for ourselves.  Our characters, our attitudes, our ways of life cover a wide array of concepts.  From the moment our feet touch the floor in the morning until our head hits the pillow, we leave with imprints.  Yes, imprints that last to those we will leave behind.  We just need to create the 'truth' to our legacy that we will, eventually and certainly, leave it one day.

How far should, or would, we go to prepare and undertake ourselves for that 'ultimate' when the plug to life is pulled off?  Can we, honestly, speak with remarkable candor about such end of life matters?  Realistically, such a situation has become much more complicated than we can think of.

Death is unavoidable.  Its time is uncertain.  Our only security is the strength of our practice.  Susan Ho, my friend who is now struggling with 'awaiting for end of life', makes me deep in reflection and remembering.  The thing that stands out clear is that death is simply a part of life.  It is just the natural progression of life.

Her situation reminds me, and hopefully to all her family and friends, to consider how we can prepare for death.  How we can consider our dying to benefit ourselves and others. 

As I begin to prepare for my death consciously, I feel I am preparing for a renewed sense of appreciation for all that is precious to me in my life.  I must learn not to postpone life and awaken to a deeper compassion and a richer, more meaningful existence.  That all the ordinary and simple events in my life must take on a deeper significance.

These two months have been a confronting journey for me.  I am being pushed into a territory that has brought up a heap of reminders about uncomfortable areas where I am yet to clean up in my life.  There are trashes in Reiki Sanctuary not sorted, affairs that still to put in order, responsibilities that been long delayed, words left unsaid and gratitude unexpressed. Perhaps, there are far more things which I cannot think right now and have conveniently omitted them.  Perhaps, there are far more things that I have taken for granted not knowing them now.

Susan has decided to spend her limited days to finish off some important personal things, to tour Japan and Australia, and as she said it "for the last time to close some chapters".  It is what that makes her happy that makes her life full and complete.  Giving an action, and voice, to such fundamental material represents one piece of unfinished business that is now filled with peace.

For what she feels important to finish, I am praying for her peace.  I am praying that she is filled with joy knowing that all her responsibilities are complete.  That she can move on with spirit of love, and be loved.

For me, I find solace in the fact that I have known Susan.  I am glad that this good and decent human being has played a part in my life.  I am very thankful that I have had given this opportunity to know her.  Friends like her are so few and far between.  It is important that she knows this.  It is important that she lives her last days knowing that she is loved.

.. and my prayers,

for her courage, 

for her strength,
for her family 

and for her friends

continue ..

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My Life - A Lived Life Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, February 21, 2010

Once, in a conversation with a friend, I reminded him that death is not an if.  It is not 'if he/she dies' or 'if he/she goes away'.  Death is not a choice.  It is not about assuming a case or proving on a condition.  It is a part of our life and it is just another human event, although it is the last of a human event on earth.  Death is an integral part of every moment of life and it is about when it can happen.  About when it will come to strike us.  About when it can just take place, anytime and anywhere, to end our physical body.  Death is no respecter of persons.  It comes to all, not just the elderly but young healthy adults and children as well.  It can never be the case of 'If'.

While the word is a taboo to many and no one, generally, likes to think about it, death is inevitable.  We tend to avoid the topic for whatever personal reasons.  No one wants to be hurt and saddened nor would want to invite such a depressing thought to bring to an early suffering.  No one wants to feel the pain of separation, loss, vulnerability or emptiness.  Ironically, to live is to prepare for death.  Each and everyone of us must go through it, both directly and vicariously.

Death is a separation that is permanent.  It is permanent since we no longer can see, touch or talk to the loved one that is no longer living.  Yes, we would probably continue 'to talk' to make a connection but the deceased cannot respond back in the traditional sense.  It is this feeling that often will make us feel that a big part within us, as though a living piece, is missing.  It is only to show that communication is ever so important in any relationship.  Often, at that instant, we feel remorse for not able to control an outcome of a situation that we did not take responsibility of it.

Many of us dread the process of dying more than death itself.  It is understandably so because, often, it involves much pain.  Death should not be a cause of preoccupation and fear.  There is, indeed, a divine purpose to all life.  We should not harbour on thoughts that we will leave this earth with unfinished business of many kinds.  Of not discovering more of our latent possibilities.  Of not resolving relationship.  Our task is to minimize all the weighty chains of guilt and to learn [by way of acknowledgement] past mistakes and to heal ourselves with forgiveness.  Death is a process for complete surrender while we are alive.

We should, and be prepared to, accept death.  We should embrace the dying process.  We should, constantly, be the self conscious beings to be responsible for what happens to us in death as in life.  The life of every man is a diary in which we write one story after another.  This involves the responsibility of living up to our considerable potential with a heart capable of feeling deeply.  And, with a mind that can engage in profound contemplation on the vast mysteries of life and a soul able to encompass all beings in its concern.

I have always accepted death as a part of life.  But the only thing that I have not gotten myself prepared, and not be ready, is talking about my own death.  Strange as it is, since dying is not a new subject at all.  It is one of the oldest subjects known to humanity and certainly the greatest mystery of our existence.  It is a topic familiar to almost every person though we seldom speak openly about it.

In my family, I lost my parents and my eldest sister but that, somehow, did not affect me in the way the loss of Ruby did.  The death of my parents was something I had expected.  Their health was such that the end was obvious.  In some ways, it was a blessing that they no longer had to suffer in their failing physical bodies.

My eldest sister, on the other hand, was a courageous woman who had an unusually painful form of cancer and faced her sufferings for a good three years philosophically without complaints.  She was prepared to drink to the last drop what the cup of life had in store for her.  I witnessed such a fine attitude in her strength.  In her acceptance rather than tried to escape it.  She fulfilled her destiny, making her inner conquests and, unconsciously, helping others.

After the death of Ruby, I have become very much aware of death.  How, then, should I prepare for my turn.  My time.  Not about what life is at the other side but it makes me to sit up and to take notice on the quality of life that I am experiencing and making myself available with others around me.  About making the difference.  About leaving a legacy of love that matters.  About leaving behind something about me that will minimize the pains and griefs of my loved ones.  Grief can be an awful emotion resulted from an abrupt and/or unexpected severing of attachment.

Ruby's demise opens up a new meaning about separation.  About death.  It explores my consciousness into the seed of loving and ahead to the fruit it shall bear.  It reminds me to see the beauty in life and in the world we live in.  Who believe in me, no matter what.  Who is a great soul for me, an inspiring companion, who passed on a wonder and a love of some aspect of being alive.

Her death makes me to find actions and words which would say it all.  Off a complete feeling which would make what I felt and what I wanted for all the loved ones left behind seem memorable and majestic.  I learned that after my mum passed on.  It was a void feeling for not doing what I wanted to do for her.  With Ruby, I learned about grief for being left behind not fully comprehensible of my own worth.

I know of someone who would go into a frantic emotion at the thought of the death of his partner.  He would be filled with remorse and blaming himself for his past mistakes to self inflict with more pain.  I learn, through him, to accept the world as imperfect.  That all our own actions can bring on suffering.  Regardless of how much we may love someone, care for them, and attend to their needs, we will still lose that person.  Who has not said something that stung another, done something that made us cringe, or chose inaction in a case where action would have made a world of difference?

It is true that no one can get through life without making mistakes.  I need to face for my time.  It is important for me, having this chance of life, to be a good person.  It is important for me to help another person to find his/her true self.  These are two virtues that I want to leave behind.  These are virtues that I should devote while I am alive and, at the same time, prepare for death.  Afterall, that is what death is about.  It happens so that we can value life.  It is the chance to believe that life, and death, is not meant to be a burden.  I would want to die without procrastination.  Rather, I should make preparations so that when I am gone, I would leave my loved ones with no regrets.  For having me.  For knowing me.  For been a part together.

I need to be involved with my loved ones so that when I am gone, there will be a feeling of satisfaction for them to have walked life with me.  There will be an easy reconciliation and coming to terms with, and for, their conscience.  There will be a sense of loving kindness to ease the transition that they had once made me a trusted person, brother, companion, friend and a good soul.  And that, they have made my life complete.  That they had never failed my expectations. There will be an opportunity for them to continue to live freely, enjoying the twists and turns life offer.  That, our relationship to life together has had meaning.

I must be aware to raise love and comfort and use the present to prepare for the future.  I need to honour all that I had promised and not to leave behind unresolved hopes.  I need to be the doer and the maker; the alchemist of love.  And, constantly, reminding them about my love - not with words but with actions.  I need not to leave them with shadow of doubt of my love.  Of my pride and joy being part of them.  I need them to know how I have had treasured all and that I had accomplished the quality of life together.  As it is, it is often sad to leave a life with unfulfilled memories.  We all know it is painful for the receiving parties, the survivors.  I believe, no one should and would want to spend eternity haunted by such bitterness unresolved.  It will be good, and I need to keep reminding myself, that I must depart on good terms.

I need to make peace with members of my family.  I need to make peace with my loved ones.  I need to make peace with my friends.  I need to make peace with every soul that I had crossed path with.  It is also important that I make peace with myself.  This act will only allow to ease the burden of guilt, anger or bitterness.  It is the only way to make my passing on easier for each one of them.  The most important thing is for them to live a life without shadows of doubt.

I must live a true life.  I was born of love, so I must live by traveling the path of love.  The success or failure of my live depends on how much love I am able to pack into all these years of life that is being given to me.  I should live my life with an attitude of devotion and diligence that my life is not only about myself but for others too.  I must constantly be reminded to live a life of love.  That love is the only thing that remains when I am gone. 

When the time has finally arrived for me, I want them to have a smile on their faces.  I want them to have only the good memories of a joyful shared life together and there is no regret.  That our lives together had been, for each other, a road of a doer and a maker.  In the end, it is all about the legacy of love given and received.  That love has made us fuller, richer, wider and deeper.  What lights us up never truly abandons us.  Inwardly, we are never separated from those we love.   And nothing else matters.

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About The White Light Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Thursday, February 05, 2009

Since my last entry, "Connect To The White Light", I have been receiving some queries.  Questions were raised.  Some wondered if I did the right thing.  Some felt that since the dying event unto death is pre-determined, what was the purpose for my actions.

Here, I have gathered those questions into these few categories:

And so, what and who are you?

I grew up normal- ok, not so normal to some.  Went to school, worked and lived my life the way I had wanted it to be.  Followed my dreams, some were unachievable while others remained so much to be cherished.  Met my twin soul, and along the way, interacted with many more soul mates.  Life, with all the ups and downs, had been good.

My life journey took a change in February 9th, 1995.  Though I didn't fully comprehend 'the Gift', it had started its work thereon.  It was the day my mum passed on.  That afternoon, on the way back home from her place after taken my shift to care for her, I felt very lethargic.  I felt very sleepy.  How hard I tried to stay awake throughout the route inside the cab, I could not open my eyes.  It was such a soporific state.  I just needed to sleep.  I remembered the white lie that I told to the cab driver, "Wake me up when we reach the destination" after telling him that I worked night shift the day before and have not been sleeping.

In the comfort of my bed, I woke up, after two hours or so, just knowing something had happened.  Though I could not establish the actual occurence clearly, perhaps it was intentional from The Higher Source, there was a sense of white light - and spaced out feeling, all around me.  There was just peace.  There was deep tranquility within.  Somehow, the condition of my mum didn't bring a feeling of despair despite the sadness I was experiencing before that.  I also received a call, to ask me to come over immediately, that my mum was at her deathbed. 

After her burial, I found a piece of white cloth which was not readily noticeable to others.  The people around me felt surprised at something unanticipated of what I just found.  At the advise of a spiritual lady, I was to believe that my late mum had left something for me.

My life took a turn after that.  It didn't happen immediately.  It took years before I fully realised what I had become.  Slowly, I often felt that I could 'see' things and 'hear' voices.  It was only after my 'third eye' was opened, with the guidance of a spiritual master, that my path of awakening was realised.

Isn't death pre-determined?

From the day we are born, death is inevitable.  We cannot alter nor fix our date of death.  Death is a biological process while dying is psychological.  One is the function of the body and the other is the function of the mind.

In most cases, when a person's time is up, he/she will go through the deathbed vision.  There are always deceased close relatives, friends or spiritual guides around him/her.  He/She would see them.  They are inconspicuous and will not draw fears.  Their presence actually reassures the deathbed person.

When a person dies, wouldn't his/her soul leave the body?

Let understand a little bit about the death process.  In a normal death situation, the person's life force is filled with death hormone that loosen the electro-magnetic hold of atoms in the body.  Slowly, it just disintegrates.  It could be the result from illnesses and/or aging.

Just as the life force leaves the body, there is the silver cord that connects the soul and the etheric world.  Some people say it takes from few minutes to half an hour before the silver cord is finally broken.  And, the death of the organs takes between one to fifteen hours.  There are tales to say that when a person is dying, or about to die, we should not be crying out loud and calling his/her name to 'come' back.  It is believed, though the body is clinically dead, his/her heart atom has not yet moved out of the physical body.  The silver cord is still intact.

The final death takes place when the silver cord is totally severed.  This is when the spiritual soul has moved on.  It is often not surprised to notice, after the death, that the face of the dead is often younger and serene.

When a person's body is 'dead', his/her soul can be lost.  Why?

Death is pre-determined.  However, there are instances when the time is not up yet especially when death is caused by war casualties, violent accidents or suicides. In this instance, the soul is forced out of the body but there is no silver cord.  There is no presence of death hormone.

In the swiftness of death, where one moment they are alive and in another they are dead, they are not prepared for this suddenness.  Tragedy has taken place so fast that their soul could not recognise the body which was, in split second earlier, perfect.  Usually they will become violently angry, and probably filled with fear.  They do not know that they are already dead due to the violent and suddenness of the incidents.

As it is not the pre-determined time, they do not know how to go to the white light.  They also cannot see nor feel the presence of any deceased relatives, friends or guides.

If he/she is physically dead, what is the meaning of the write-up? 

The write-up is a prayer.  In the world wide web [wwww], I have always taken the net to cover a much bigger connection.  A bridge between us and the Universe.  It is exemplary of the silver cord.  It serves as a medium to be heard, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year.  To reach out.  It is a voice affirming out loud.  An endless prayer that stays alive. 

There are always earth-bound spirits around.  All of them do not know that they are dead.  They can be victims of suicide and murder, war casualties and violent accidental deaths.  Or recently deceased spirits closely attached to the living loved ones.  Or who have unfinished business on earth.

As for Sze Ern, I came into contact with him when I tapped his energy.  His situation is common with those that departed suddenly and violently.

Will the departed soul read the notice?

We are just a small part of the spirit world.  We are only the pencil for the Highest Source to write, say and do.  There is no space and time between us.

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