The Day After You Came Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, May 24, 2013

God, In You, There Is So Much Joy.


What a joy!  Somehow, after I decided to re-do the template of this Blog (again!), there is an euphoric high in my Be-ing.  I uploaded the new template, Simple MasBro Template just before my bedtime and I could not really sleep after that.  I felt a rebound in my energy.  I kept thinking about it and the feeling was almost the same to that when I started blogging in the year 2008.  I kept wanting to wake up, to sit in-front of my computer, and just improvised the outlook.

As usual, it was just me, I had to add-and-minus.  I liked the simple look of Simple MasBro.  I liked the slider transition.  I liked the simplicity.  I was attracted to the clean outlook.  Though I had the inclination to go for an earthly colored background or the symbolic abundance color of sky blue, somehow Simple MasBro fascinated me.  Perhaps, it painted the state of my energy.  It symbolized the stepping out of my inertia and the restlessness to my overall energy of late.  The color in Simple MasBro reflected the gradual auric awakening of 'neither here nor there' though it promised a refreshed serious outlook.

I made the decision to try out this new template - short of one month from the last template update, as the previous one did not uplift me.  I felt something was still amiss.  There was still a feeling of boredom.  There was a feeling of dissatisfaction.  There was an energy disconnection between me, my soul and the Universe.

Ironically, as much as I had the joy in updating (modifying and learning) the previous template - Triton Blogger Template, there was still a part of me that was not rejuvenated.  There was still a part of me buried in somewhat self-imposed forlorn mindset.  I was alive yet dead.  I was peaceful yet empty.  I was happy yet overwhelmed with worries.

Unfortunately, the paradigm of my energy did not alter after its inception.  Instead, through no fault of Triton, it brought upon me to a state where I felt fried.  I felt stuck.  I (and I need to verbalize it here) felt ambushed with negative thoughts.  I had more thoughts of fears, doubts and anxieties.  I hesitated a lot more.  I could be swamped, occasionally, with a feeling of abandonment, of emptiness.

Having said that, I had a sense of upliftment and I felt thankful that God pushed me yet again.  It was a sudden thing.  I had the slightest idea that I could be changing another template, yes! so soon again.  All that I wanted to do was to sync Triton, to make it work for me. 

I spent a lot of time tweaking and fine-tuning the codes and to finally fulfill the process.  I was not prepared to go through it again.  Especially when I had other important tasks to attend.  After all, I knew too that should I start to look at another template, I would be spending more time working on it.  That much I thought that I knew myself.

But I was wrong.  Perhaps, I under-estimated God's love.  Somewhere in my burned-out situation, He was there nursing my soul.  He wanted me to slow down.  He wanted me to look around and, importantly, He wanted me to realize that I was only a human with emotional up and down.  It was okay to feel lost, okay to be disconnected and okay just not doing anything.  It was perfectly alright to indulge in self negativity, in self pity so long the soul realized it.  So long I was not dragging my soul to the grave.

Working on Simple MasBro Template was easier.  I was not struggling much to modify the structure to the way I wanted it to be.  It was not about disrespecting the author but I wanted a template to reflect my personal needs and growth.  I needed something that can spice me up.  I had been finding a way out.  With Simple MasBro, it was the way I wanted to tell myself that I could grow with blogosphere and with the vastness of knowledge of the Universe.

Today, I am thankful to Him for this euphoric high.  I feel that I am walking out of the I-feel-fried tunnel and that my life is starting again.  I feel the loving energy arising.  I feel loved for my soul all over again.  I feel the love around me.  I feel the love for all the people I love.

I am thankful that I have stumbled upon Simple MasBro.  God must have made it this way. God has been watching me.  I am thankful that He makes it easier for me this time around.  I am glad that I am not allowing myself to drown.  I am glad that I am still praying.

It is, the beginning, of another beautiful day.  God, let this new me prevails ...