Today is manana.
Yup, it was a wonderful week last week. The past several days had been really filled with blessings. Yes! that much I would want to feel, that much I would want to acknowledge. Yes, this much I make no bones about the layers of tranquility that each passing day had greeted me. Though there were not much of activities and excitement nor that I had taken any vacations - they were just any other days, but my soul was inundated with joy of the extraordinaire. I felt so much peaceful with myself and there was a greeting sense of life.
Words can hardly describe the blissful state of my mind that I was experiencing. To some, they would probably pass a remark that I had gone kinda mad. Kinda weird. Kinda scary. There would always be a value judgment related to all aspect of living and it would be of no difference with what I had in mind to share it here. It is a natural one's first emotional judgement about such 'ab-normality' (if one is to choose along this thinking pattern) long before the capacity to rationally judge such an occurence to be related with the Law of the Universe. That our soul evolves, and should always evolve with time.
Last week, somehow, I felt an elevation with the way I viewed things around me. When someone was talking to me, I felt there was a three-dimensional personality of that individual. There was the presence of his physical Being, his Ego and his Higher Self appearing simultaneously at the same time. I could literally 'see' these three energies of him appearing separately. To my surprise, as I engaged in the conversation, I could literally 'hear' my Being, my Ego and my Higher Self.
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| LUP works in progress, just outside Reiki Sanctuary |
Then, there was a division of two worlds in and out of Reiki Sanctuary. When I felt so much accomplished inside, there was a world of confusion outside. The Lift Upgrading Project (LUP as HDB named it) had just started on my area. Dust and noise were unbearable daily occurences with so much hacking and drilling works could start as early as eight in the morning. For an OCD like me, this was a disruption and that I should even feel more so to spruce up Reiki Sanctuary. But, it amazed me at how I could calmly accept it and letting the activities outside to be a non-weighty entity separated from my soul.
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| Interestingly, during a group outing to Singapore Flyer (gratitude to JH to arrange it), I saw this signage. For unknown Universal nudge, I snapped it and today, it just makes sense. Ironically, the 'Arrow' points upwards -- hmm, Elevated Journey begins? |
Somehow, my mind went through a process of taking isolated ideas and consolidating them into a unified whole. It was taking, and importantly accepting, little things that I knew and making a bigger picture out of them. It was good just to observe the situations and not to be influenced internally and emotionally. I was, in the metaphysical view of thoughts, went through a state of emotional integration. It was, as though, all that I had known become a simple emotional evaluation about every aspects of life.
The week started with a decision that I had finally made. It was not easy but it was greatly encouraged and motivated by a group of loving individuals. I was overwhelmed by, and deeply grateful to, these few individuals who really radiated their true souls and shining bright. Who deserved to be loved and to be highly respected. I was deeply touched by their love. I should count on my blessings.
Last week, I decided to go through a minor surgery to remove a lipoma, a fatty tumor, on the elbow of my left hand. I had been having it for the past ten years or so. Started from just a small growth, it was about 5 by 5 cm when it was finally removed on 8th of June. I knew it was non-cancerous as I had it examined before. But, little that I knew, the growth was growing to such a big scale.
The MRI report showed that the growth was not from a nerve though it had grown so huge and pressing on the nerves below it. This lab report eased my mind as I would not want to go through a surgery should it had been related to my nerves. Obviously, I had my own reasons and these reasons may not sound logical and rational. Another lab report came back, after the surgery, that the lipoma confirmed to be benign.
I had endured the pains on my left hand for months. Sometimes it could be rather intensed from the shoulder area and all the way to my wrist. Somehow, the lipoma had pressed on the nerves beneath it that it triggered pains to other parts of my body too. The pain gravitated all the way to my lower back and the left leg.
Perhaps, the changes - this emotional integration, that I had been going through had to do with the surgery. It had to do with the letting go of my own resistance. Of my silent fear. Ironically, a day before the surgery, I had an interesting conversation with another friend. It was as though the Universe had arranged it for me to receive some words of wisdom. It was a scene that exemplify as a conversation with God.
This friend shared with me about her personal problems. She was sharing with me about her life progress but she insisted it was more a regression. It was interesting just to hear her that day. For whatever she was sharing, she knew and cited the Law of Opposites. She accepted that every out must have an in, every low swing must have a high swing, what rises must fall and what falls must rise.
That afternoon, our meeting reminded me of Neal Donald Walsch's book "Happier Than God". In his book, he identified the five great Principles of Life:
01. The Energy of Attraction, which gives us power
02. The Law of Opposites, which gives us opportunity
03. The Gift of Wisdom, which gives us discernment
04. The Joy of Wonder, which gives us imagination
05. The Presence of Cycles, which gives us eternity.
What made it more real was when she actualized with what Neal wrote, "The Law of Opposites works in perfect harmony with the Energy of Attraction. This principle states that no sooner will you call something into your reality than it's exact opposite will also appear, and always first".
That afternoon, I felt that I had been given a chance to engage with God's light which came through her. For once, in many of my counselling sessions, I didn't have to do much but just listening. At the end of the meeting, she made a remarkable remark that stayed with me - "Perhaps, I had been focussing so much on the mistakes, that I have been making, that I pushed away the bigger pictures of what I had been wanting to achieve".
That sentence somehow struck me. It was, as though, she had been sent by God to give me a tight slap on my face to wake up. It was a pure co-incidental moment since I had just made the decision to go through with the surgery. Perhaps, it was the synchronicity of all these events that changed my soul vibrations. I remembered waking up two hours later from the general anaesthesia, which was administered before the surgery, that there was something that had been released out of my soul, out of my body. Something that did not belong to me and had set me free. Though, I had a passing feeling where something was missing but yet, for the bigger picture, I knew it was for good reasons.
I exercised on what my friend's wisdom again when my friends and I went for the PC show the other day. Perhaps, the Universe had arranged it for me to experience my new lesson. Perhaps, the Universe had wanted to see how much I had understood the process towards integration. Afterall, words without exercising nor owning them would just be words - plain useless. The knowledge, when one felt could change life, must be integrated by fundamentals or, otherwise, it would not be useful.
It made a big difference. It was said that the show would be crowded, and it was. There were others who told me to avoid going since it was the last day of the show. It was a Sunday. The wisdom that I had wanted to learn brought a new height of understanding and clarity about reality.
When I told myself to focus on the bigger picture (of getting the things we wanted to get) and not on the crowd, my friends and I managed to get all the stuffs without hassles. It actually surprised me when my friends and I were out of the Singtel booth with our purchases within fifteen minutes. We managed to get other things without having to queue. Importantly, amidst the huge crowd, we were served well and all our queries about the products that we wanted to get were addressed effectively at every booths. We were out of the show within two hours.
Looking back, it was a lesson where many of us would, probably and likely, to go through life not capable to make emotional evaluations for our higher purpose. Unconsciously, we allow this process to form in our subconscious level. It becomes an automatic process where we equate good and bad to be life virtues without having an understanding to take isolated ideas and consolidating them into a bigger unified whole. We all feel emotions. We have all experienced them - Love, hate, fear, envy. But we fail to allow our experiences to form a higher value, of higher fundamentals, to what we feel. We fail to place a belief and the understanding for knowing how to integrate.
As I flipped open on the Book of Insight - A Guide for the Advanced Soul, this page came to reassure me:
"Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others, but by simply accepting them as they are. True acceptance is always without demands and expectations."
Gerald G Jampolsky on Love is Letting Go Of Fear
"The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself"
Lao-Tse
Lao-Tse
I have constantly believed that everything that is to happen, happens for VERY good reasons. And, on this note, YES! I have indeed changed. It may be uncomfortable to others, it may be taken and viewed wrongly by others.
My dearest indigo friend, JH once said that I have become rather 'harsh' with my words and has constantly asked "Are you alright?" whenever we chat. I believe that it has to do with my changing energetical vibrations that made him, unconsciously, feels that there is something wrong, when there are actually changes only for the very good reasons. Without him realizing it, his Higher Self just wants to make sure that my soul is comfortable. I have highest respect for him - a soul that is always full of love.
I offer Reiki Distant Healing