Moon Temple Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, July 29, 2011

You have no idea how much I love all the people that I know.  They know even less.


I tell myself, for today, I shall live for my Being.  For my consciousness.  For my awareness.  For my light.  I am born alone and I shall leave this world alone too.   Aloneness is our very nature though we are not fully aware of it.

I tell my breath, for today, to live as though it is its last.  Yesterday is the past.  It has passed.  Today, I shall live in the now.  For today needs to be created for all the other days ahead to follow.

I tell my body, for today, to heighten all its senses to enjoy the beauty of Mother Earth.  The Gaia of all the wondrous things around me.  Oh, what a beautiful world it will be. 

I tell my mind, for today, just to focus on the dominant thought and not to fret on small things.  Whatever I make, whatever I do, I am in-charge.  I am responsible for my joy, for my peace and for all the blessings into everything possible.

I tell my soul, for today, to reach out to God.  To be one with Him, to be Him.  For in Him, I will be able to feel my soul.  For in Him, I shall embrace the highest good that it flows easily back to me.  For in Him, nothing can disturb the calm and peace of my soul, and of the world I live in.

I yearn to be intimate with my soul.  To feel the light of consciousness.  To feel the light growing and glowing.  That it shall not fade, not even for the slightest moment.  The more I can be one with it, i know I will be able to feel the highest intensity of tranquility, of silence - the infinite ultimate energy.

For today, I  must admit failure.  I must admit how fragile my Being has been.  I must admit on the imperfections to be truly human.  I have been constantly filled with unnecessary tension based on judgments about the past and the expectations about the future.

I fail to fill my heart with constant joy.  I fail to occupy my mind with persistent peace.  I fail in extending love.  I fail in providing faithful and loyal strength.  I fail to live in the now.  I fail to keep things steady.  I fail to let the light stays permanent.  The less I live in the past and of the future, the more I shall be able to see the brilliance of the present.

I have to be a Nowist.
To learn about living in the Now-ness.
Would not it be wonderful if nothing else matters?

Am I really grateful for all the things that have come in contact with my soul?  Am I really grateful for being who I am?  For being awake.  For being aware.  For being conscious.  I am alive.  I am life.  I let life live me.

I am so thankful to where my life has brought me today.  I am so thankful for the journey.  I am so thankful for the days, the weeks, the months and the years.  There is nothing that I would want to change them all.  All the experiences and insights are just necessary.  They are designed As Is.  They begin with being present to what is and without any self deception.  I am so thankful for the fall and rise.

I am so thankful for having a loving family, for having my parents, for having my sisters.  I am so thankful for the spirit, the energy, the virtues.  I am so thankful to be a part of the big thing.

I am so thankful for knowing all my friends, near and far.  Here and before.  I am so thankful to Alan, my spiritual master.  I am so thankful to Pi, a spiritual friend.  I am so thankful to Amina, a spiritual comrade.  I am so thankful to Franky, my spiritual soulmate.

I am so thankful to the beautiful skies, through thick and thin, that bring many more friends closer.  There are Molly, Ann, Peg, Greg, Norin, Jianhong .. and the many many more.  These are the people that have come into my live, though some may have quickly go.  They leave their footprints in my heart.  And, I am never, ever the same.

I am so grateful for the Ayam Penyet that I had for dinner earlier in the week.  I am so grateful for the bed, for the vacuum cleaner, for the fibre broadband.  I am so grateful for Reiki Sanctuary.  I am so grateful that I do with the house cleaning.  I am so grateful for the lift upgrading program.

I am blessed that I can walk fine and think fine.  I am blessed that I can choose to separate my thoughts.  I am blessed that I can focus.  That I am aware.  That I am connected to infinite intelligence.  I am blessed that I know I am more than my mind.  I am blessed I am Being.  I am Source.

Love is a never ending stream.  And so is my unwanted sorrow.  Each energy fans the flame of my breath.  In each moment of my consciousness.  In each ray of light deeps into the moon temple of my emotions.

How it evolves with each waking moment.  In my present.  In my body.  I feel it through my breath flowing in and out, effortlessly filling my lungs, my veins, my brain.  I can feel its life within me.  I am connected to these energies.  I am connected to its Being.  I am connected to its Source.

For today, I shall empower a magnifying healing to both my outer and inner worlds.  I shall empower to take, and gain, control of my breath.  I shall be committed to live life with joy, abundance and compassion.  I should be connected to my ways of sitting, standing, sleeping, speaking and acting.

It is only through a constant deep felt appreciation of the value and miracle of being itself that my live will take on real meaning.  That my relationship with others will become imbued with intelligence and compassion.  That I will find effective solutions to the ever growing problems I am facing.

For today, I should shine on the moon temple towards the direction of the sun.  There is light to everything, even in darkness.  There is joy in peace.  There is peace in joy.  There is happiness in sorrow.  There is sorrow in happiness.

We just know that it is all essential to life.  It breathes an immense importance not only to physical life, but to the very meaning of what we are and what we can become.

I should shine on reality, on spirituality and on consciousness.  I can only see the light when I allow the breath of life to manifest fully through me and others.  This is the beginning of real transformation, both for myself and for the world around me.

And it all begins with awareness of the breath.  It begins with the moon temple of our body as a sacred light, a doorway to the source of all being.  With each awakening, there comes a radical new understanding.  It shall not just be the understanding that the immensity of Truth can never be comprehended by the mind.  It is the understanding that beyond all our senses, however good or bad we may judge them to be, we are Source.

For today, I pray to do the right things knowing that life can end anytime.  If today is my last day, I am praying that everyone close knows that I love them.  That every souls that have crossed into my path are loved.

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Finding Self-Worth Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, May 28, 2010

No man is an island.  Human beings just do not, for a period of time, thrive when isolated from others. It is possible to spend time alone but it will never complete their social needs and growth. In the words of an English poet, John Donne "All mankind is of one author, and is one volume.  That when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language and every chapter must be so translated."

It is a totally different scenario with the need to being alone; in the period of alone-ness.  Being alone in the world, the world of alone-ness, even though we travel our journeys with people merely underscores how important faith, hope and understanding our spiritual self inside us (and probably in God) are.  There are times when we will feel incredibly desolate, confused and numbed to a communal reality that the call for alone-ness, the only man in the island, that such situation can thrive.  It would be, then, a spiritual call being true to ourselves.

I am touched, and moved, with Donne's content.  Particularly so for the latter part of it and on the line 'but translated into a better language'.  It tells us the significant to live our life.  It sums it up to bring awareness how we can change, and should change for the better, our mindset.  It is an awakening call to look within into our conscience; to work at it and honor everything that has provided for a better meaning to life.  Only when the acknowledgments are internalized, the purpose to life becomes clearer.  Every stones in every roads will uncast the process leaving every opportunity doors wide open.  Every life's value that becomes our actions will turn to results. 

How shall we live?  What shall we live for?  How we can decide right from wrong?  It is always important to recognize the values and, ultimately, in making a better wise choice.  Each one of us has a different set of value.  For some, the value may be living for wealth, for power, for reason, for virtue, for faith, for fulfillment, for love, for happiness, for integrity.  The list can just go on.

The content brings consciousness towards the subject about life and our imprints we leave behind on our death.  Hopefully, I will be able to  internalize within myself with the right sanctity for the right perception.  About the need to be surrounded with the right people for the right thing.  About accomplishments and perhaps, to live life with no regrets and everything is just enough.  For the conscientiousness of my (our) morals.  For a meaningful ending when faced with death.

It is, to me, a reminder about the importance on the quality of life that we need to exercise.  That, in whatever we do, think and act should be guided consciously towards it.  That we need to re-think our thought processes before we execute the actions.  We need to be aware of our words, our promises, our commitments, our desires and wants and so on.

How we should live a life truthfully within the sea of love.  With will.  With respect.  With honor.  With endearment.  With conscience.  Within the relationship we have with another.  About how we should never take for granted the people that we have come to treasure.  That have played a big part in our incremental growth.  To those whom have had shaped our lives.  To all the individuals that have, and continuously, designed our days and sharing and letting us to go through life experiences.  That have shared and provided valuable lessons for us to become a better person.  These are our parents, our brothers, our sisters and infact the whole family generation.  And then, there are our teachers, our masters and our friends.  Or our neighbours.

We are what we eat; we become what we think about.  I have become a strong believer, in life, that I cannot hold more than what I already have.  That it will be useless should I go on with life adding friendship every other day, or getting to know more people through social networking, but sadly only to become superficial with one another each passing day.  That I would only know them by their name, their status just because all I need is another friend.  Nor should I want to walk the path of fame, to feast on my ego, proudly announcing to the world that I know so-and-so and so-and-so. 

I believe when I am constrained with time 24-7, how then can I provide for new friends?  How then can I provide the love and the care?  We, as an individual, often fail to love oneself.  With all our limited time, we hardly spend to treat ourselves right.  We constantly deny the time, and love, to nourish our soul.  The soul that is the core of our true self, the very essence of whom and what we are.

What will be my motive for making new friendship?  What will be left of my intention for those that I already knew?  Where would I place the sincerity for my appreciation and gratitude?  When was the last time I did my part, as a so-called friend, calling any one out for a good meal, a good conversation?  Or calling to know, to share and catch up with his/her life? 

When was the last time I said 'I love you' to my mum, my dad, my siblings and my closest friends?  We don't even spend much quality time with our parents and siblings.  Or our soul partners.  We often find convenient excuses for not doing so.  The most important source of soul food for my soul is the quality time with loved ones.  It rejuvenates me and helps me to go on.  It makes me feel alive, full of life and connected to the Universe. 

The large quantity of people in my small hands does not count for my happiness.  Nor the quiet joy I seek in small groups.  Nor the peace of mind where I can put my trust and my faith.  Plainly, I am getting tired at just smiling and greetings at superficiality.

Perhaps, I am off the mindset of what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."  Though it is not a must, it is always good to have someone that shares a common goal.

It is only natural that friendship is developed in the office.  In school.  In meditation class.  But, to purposely find friends by logging to social networks, online chat rooms or going to pubs requires a little more consciousness.  It requires a little more the Self understanding.  It requires the opening of our awareness towards the search, and the desire and objective, it places in our current journey in life.

Do not get me wrong.  While making new friends is highly enriching and can be rewarding - and yes, that no man can ever be alone - we need to realize should we are able to take on the big responsibility to know another person and understand his/her feelings.  Friends comes with friendships.  Life is a journey and real good friends are with us in the caravan.  It is said that the natural process to life in meeting new friends, where it is guided with synchronicity and coincidences, is far more meaningful.

Just the other day, a friend passed a remark that she does not need so-and-so just because she has found some new friends.  New friendships are like the new broom that will sweep clean.  New things are always don with admiration.  We are mesmerized with everything new.  My friend's action kinda puzzled me.  I am saddened at the circumstances.  Friendship is not something that you can throw away just because there is a vacuum to be filled with someone new or when someone new comes along.

It is true, and unavoidable, that good friendship can sometimes just dies off.  That the person whom we have known for many years could just suddenly ceased to be part of our lifeline.  That a friendly relations gets strained, usually reaching a point of no return.  Such a situation arises when there is no longer a win-win situation where things are no longer absolutely hunky dory.

Friendship develops from a need.  It is a social call where two individuals first interact, or being interacting, with one another out from some common interest that binds the two.  Things become bad when one person gains and the other stands to lose.

In the wisdom of John Donne, "when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language and every chapter must be so translated."  We need to appreciate our friends.  We need to be part of their conditionings, good or bad.

I am wary about perception.  I pray hard to be watchful in the way I think, I judge and I perceive.  Perceptions are not always a reality.  Perceptions can destroy even the best of intention.  Our minds do not grasp everything our senses feed us.  Say, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, it must be a duck.

My friend's remark made me to think of what others would think of me.  Of their perception of me.  Not that it totally matters should I am that so-and-so, as in the case of that friend, gets dumped.  But, it would be sad to be in the situation arises from a deceived perception.  Or, from a situation where friendship is being compared to another.

Perception changes everything.  In the language of the Universe, perception often reveals the actions of the heart. We become indifferent and slack with enthusiasm.  Excuses start to come into play in almost all our actions and reactions.  We procrastinate at everything since love is no longer the wheel to drive the relationship.  My friend's actions have become a classic to the notion.  She avoids returning calls, ignoring sms-es and easily gets irritable.  Her easiest excuse is always to provide white lies that she has been busy, and busier.

Subconsciously, we 'grade' our friends based on our values - How they talk, how they eat, how they laugh, how they walk and so on.  Thing is, there is nothing wrong with all that.  It is only our perception that measures the interpretations.  And, it makes me wonder where am I in the eyes of my friends?  Where am I in the hearts of the people I treasure?

If there is one thing that I can learn from my mistake in life, it would be the time that I failed to honor my heart.  Only when my mum passed on that I was hit with remorse for not doing the one thing that I promised myself to give her.  Such is a state of our excuses for everything.  We would delay every attempts, and conveniently forget, the tasks that we should have carried out at the right time.

Almost a month ago, I was treating a young man who came to confide his problems.  I admire his courage to admit his weakness at white lies.  How it has actually affected his inner conscience.  When told that I knew he lied at things, not in any detrimental ways, I sensed his helplessness.  Lies are a no win-win situation especially when we want to have our friends, or our loved ones, with us in the same caravan of life.

I told him that life is simple made complicated by our desires.  That life, in itself, carries a vibrational energy with its own auric field of colors.  We cannot fake our aura.  It is always important to guard our color, our aura.  It is important to guard and live towards a clear conscience.  Our aura is basically an extension of who we are.  It speaks volumes.

The same principle goes with us living in Universe's abundance.  For its fruits to bear, we need to have a clean and clear conscience.  We need to have a strong sincere perception.  Not one that will hinder us from our growth.  It is always easier with a Yes or a No.  It is always dishonesty that denies us from entering into the gate of the Universe.  It is wise to live life to love for love rather than to love to lie.

I am praying for self conviction.

Happy Vesak Day.

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My Love For You Is True Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, April 30, 2010

Yesterday, while chatting with a dearest friend, sadness visited my soul.  Not in a big punching sorrowful way but enough to make me feel, and realize, how special he is in my life.  Enough to make me stayed up to pray.  Enough to warrant some time reflecting on the beauty of friendship.  Of love.  Of wants.  Of what life would offer if I am not going to honor the beauty in this person.  Enough for me to spend my time writing this, as part of my prayers, to tell him that he is loved.

The consciousness of his presence, in my search for meaning, brightens the inner significance about love and friendship.  His kindness, his care, his support that often chases away my dark clouds.  Flashes of the past in sequential snippets framed in my mind where we shared our life story, sharing all about our deepest secrets and the heartily laughter between us that never stops.

Our friendship has come a long way.  It has surpassed the silent language between us.  Though the distance between us is far - and it has been that way since day one whether he is in Queensland, Australia or in Pattaya, Thailand - we have never stopped to let each other know about our being.  About what is happening or to our future plans that we will undertake.  About our thoughts and feelings.  About our anger and fear and our hopes.

There is an air of superior quality about this friend; a quality deserving praise and a blessed virtue to those be a part of his life.  I am fortunate to be part of his merits.  In all life's imperfection, I believe in his sincerity towards me.  I believe in his love for our friendship.  I believe in his love for me.  I believe in his prayers for my well being.  I believe in his support whenever, or should, I need a shoulder.  I believe in the creation of a soul friendship not out of need but a want.

Just before we ended the conversation, he told me to brave life.  It was such an irony when I should be the one telling him so.  It bothers me knowing about his recent state of health.  It shakes my strength.  It makes me wonder how a wonderful lively person will need to recourse his normal daily activities.  It gives me a gloomy mood to think on a twist to life to a person that I regarded always full of love.  Of always wanting to give and always put himself second to others.   It just does not seem fair. 

It saddens me when we have to face life and not played it with a freewill.  That we have to change its course and carefully not to thread nor do what, and how, we want to go about doing it.  Somehow, we have come to a crossroad where faith and freewill become joined by twinning together.  They are no longer separate.  Perhaps, a time has come where a paradigm shift needs to be in the forefront to bring awareness about quality of life.  About going deep into a divine energy that will only make us to appreciate the breaths of being alive.

Perhaps, I am over reacting over such a trivial news.  Somehow, I believe it so too.  But for me, it is not about the alarming numerical count of his high blood pressure.  Medical sciences and the technological advances of medicines can take good care of that.  It is what goes behind the symptom that makes me to feel sad for him.  That, such a dear friend, is still struggling.  Still trapped with his past.  About him, and how the many more of us, still lives a life floating above the truths and pretending everything is fine.  That we can never take away the masks off our face, for some reasons, afraid that it will disrupt on the foundation to the life we have created.  That we never wish it to crumble the joy and the happiness.  That we need to be on guard and often filled with wariness and watchful to make sure they do not disappear.  About how we just conveniently choose to bury our deepest sorrows and, hopefully, they will just go away with time.

I am a huge fan of Louise Hay.   I just believe in her metaphysical interpretation.  She has changed the way I think.  She has changed the way I live my life.  She has assisted me, and to those that I have shared her message, in discovering and using the full potential of our own creative powers for personal growth and self healing.  In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, she has provided me the tapestry to life's mystery.  It has helped me.  It has helped the people around me.  It should help communication.  It should help relationship.

Early this month, I was unwell for about ten long days.  I was trapped with my own inner crying.  My heart was crying for help, for attention.  I knew the day I verbalised the words "please do not leave me" that I was on the road for full recovery.  That is what Louise Hay is all about.  She brings consciousness to the unspoken spirit.  She brings back the realization to the soul only when we choose to address the symptom.

Right now, my sadness is about what lies deep in the soul of this dear friend.  It makes me to think harder how I have taken life for granted.  How I have taken him for granted.  How a simple life is more than just a brief greeting.  Nor that a laughter, or a good cry, is never an act to end a revelation, a confession or a story fully told.  There is always that little reservation for an unfinished sorrow deep within us that we dearly pray only a divine intervention can take it away.  This is my lesson from him.  That love is not only about feeling but knowing.  That love has a language and it needs to be recognized and communicated.  Love, just like a human need, requires the extra mile.  This is the divine nudge for me to pray for him.

The power to live has shifted back to him.  For a change to happen, it has to start with acceptance.  It has to evolve with consciousness and being aware that it is safe to look within.  I am talking about having a great respect for life and a gratitude for the miracle of our bodies and our minds.  Life goes in cycles because we allow it.  For a spirit to fly, there is a time to do something, and then there is a time to move on.

Let's rebuild our friendship but for this new conviction to happen, we need to understand the long standing emotional problem that are not solved.  My prayers are set on this.  My prayers are for the divine light to beam deeper in our communication.  What remains will be my love, and deep gratitude, for this dear friend.

"You are never alone, Greg."

This is an extract from Louise Hay:

Blood is joy.  The veins and arteries are channels of joy.  Everything works under the law and the action of love.  There is love in every bit of intelligence in the Universe.  It is impossible to work and function well without love and joy being experienced.

Negative thinking clogs up the brain, and there is no room for love and joy to flow in its free and open way.

Laughter cannot flow if it is not allowed to be free and foolish.  It is the same with love and joy.  Life not grim unless we make it so, unless we choose to look at it in that way.  We can find total disaster in the smallest upset, and we can find some joy in the greatest tragedy.  It is up to us.

Sometimes, we try to force our life to go in a certain way when it is not for our highest good.  Sometimes we create a 'blood' problem to force us to go in a totally different direction, to re-evaluate our lifestyles.

The heart represents love, while our blood represents joy.  Our hearts lovingly pump joy throughout our bodies.  When we deny ourselves joy and love, the heart shrivels and becomes cold.  As a result, the blood gets sluggish.

The heart does not attack us.  We get so caught in the soap opera and dramas we create that we often forget to notice the little joys that surround us.  We spend years squeezing all the joy out of the heart, and it literally falls over in pain.

If we do not take the time to appreciate the joys of life, they will just create another problem in time.

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It's A Small Small World Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Just the other day, as a friend showed me his Facebook - the most used social networking website, an unnerving feeling just swamped me.  The intrigue of an intertwined social cohesion that fascinates me otherwise.  I was made to capture the attention of another consequence.  Of a smaller world.  Of who knows who.  Of an interactive communication, good or bad, amongst circle of friends.

With Facebook, users choose who are their friends based on their interests to connect and interact.  They share information and, willingly, inform their friends of their whereabouts and actions.  While there is always the joy to share ideas, social information and circles of friends - and there is nothing wrong with that, with the chosen few in the loop of their daily happenings,  the acts bring back memories of my past. 

Who knows, who cares?  I expect a decree of respect when a Facebook user adds another to serve the same purpose to form a community.  I consider for reasonable quality and condition formed into a state involving mutual dealings amongst them.  That their interests are homogenous and affecting common determinants for social enactment and awareness.

As my friend shared who knows who in his group, I wonder at the level of prevailing superficiality.  And, how shallowness is apparent.  A user whom he had resentment in the past, and whom he has no total trust today, is part of the group.  This user is allowed information sharing and participation.

As if by a great blow, the memory where I chose to 'go up the mountain' puts me back into a past condition.  There is a sudden strong feeling for sincerity.  For embodiment of emotions that is simple.  For a chance at nirvana.

I need friends for many reasons.  For them to comfort me when I am sad and to laugh with when I am glad.  For them to give me advise and whom I can count on.  For them to help me solve my troubles and to share good times so the joy is doubled.

I need friends for a mutual desire for companionship, and perhaps a common bond of some kind.  For a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life.  To share thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement or negative criticism.

I need friends that I can spend time with - time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

I need friends whom I can share my lives, thoughts, feelings and frustrations.  Friends that I can share my deepest secrets without worrying that those secrets will end up on the internet the next day.

I need friends who encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offence.

I need friends who look at the heart, not just the 'packaging'.  Not just for what it can get in return.

I wonder how Facebook can make amends.  Perhaps, it is only the superficial quality that lasts in our lifetime.  That a Man's deeper nature can never be known.  Perhaps, it is a higher ground for us to learn about life.  About how to forgive ourselves.  About how to deal with our emotions.  About how to live in both the positive and the negative.  About how we are gifts to the world around each other.

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Life Without Ruby Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, April 12, 2009

It has been 24 days.  Twenty four lonely days without our beloved Ruby.  As we are slowly adapting to our new routine, the pain still remains the same.  The bruises fade but we have lost an arm.  Only all the loving memories will keep us alive.  Reiki Sanctuary has become quiet because it has to be.  This quietness is part of a bigger meaning, part of the mind and the access of perfection to a new life chapter.

Change comes naturally.  And in such a catastrophic change, it is inevitable for the possibility of change inherent in our emotional, and perhaps, spiritual growth and development.  We are reaching out to peace.  More importantly, we are trying to embrace and assimilate quality of life.  For higher meaning.  Of the intangibles, only for the purity of the souls.  For deeper joy to house graciousness towards love.  Sincerity.  Honesty.

We are keeping what is important to us.  To live for, and by, it.  To become similar to a new environment.  To take only the best and throw the rest.  Beyond that, we are seeking for a deeper shared sense of caring and concern.  A desire to grow and develop.  To accomplish spontaneous overflow of hope and tranquility.

One fleeting brilliance of light during our grief comes from the realization for true friendship.  A reflection inward of our attitude and behaviour.  Of how we are reaching out to them.  Reality is, we have friends - people whom we know and probably, just close acquaintances, and a lot gets talked about friendship.  The quantity of them that can fill all hours of the days.

The last 24 days put us to shame.  Of what we have always taken friendship so lightly.  True friendship involves relationship.  And, we learn it alot from Ann and Pat.  Through all their givings.  In all their actions.  Gripped with their convictions to make sure we continue on with our journey with peace.  And acceptance.  They make no excuses of having work or appointments, or anything, but will be with us.  Investing their time for our growth.  Sharing our lives, thoughts, feelings and frustrations.

They 'force' their presence in our hours of sorrow.  And 'force' has become such a positive action.  Acting and doing something and expecting nothing in return.  Allowing us to talk and just to listen.  Allowing us to be irrational yet radiates empathy.  Building companionship and common bond of some kind.  Their calls and visits, at odd hours, and organizing activities [just for us]  make us felt blessed.  To them, they just want the best for us.  It is in their true friendship that encourages us and make us to forgive one another where there has been an offense.  With them, unconditional love develops.

So today, we just want to say thank you to them.  The ones who have stuck by us through thick and thin.  You have shown us the real reason of true friendship and we just hope we are able to show it to others.

In poverty and other misfortunes of life,
true friends are a sure refuge.
The young they keep out of mischief;
to the old they are a comfort
and aid in their weakness,
and those in the prime of life,
they incite to noble deeds.

-  Aristotle

They bring meaning to this quote:-

"When there is love, nothing is too much trouble.  There is always time."

.. and so, we are praying we are not too late to realize.

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Coping With Grief Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I am praying.  Maybe not enough.  Maybe too hard.

I am very aware of my grief.  It is not easy to deceive myself that Ruby's gone.  The acceptance is in place.  It has been accorded with love.  That, death is certain.  That, it is a natural process.  Still, I am experiencing profound sadness.  I am all warped with feelings of emptiness.  Of despair.  Of yearning and deep loneliness.  I still cry a lot.  From nowhere, the tears will just begin to flow.  I am missing a beloved soul.  There is just a void feeling to nurture and care for someone whom I love so much.  I still feel, somewhat in small degree, emotionally unstable.

Memories of her last day are still vivid.  Words that I spoke to her echoed with some guilt, somehow.  Ringing  sadness.  Words of hope, of good faith, could actually stove for higher good.  Mismatched between choices.  Landscaping of how fragile I am as her caregiver.

Guess, this blog will just have to bear with my healing process.  I am facing my feelings and will not suppress my grief.  I have to acknowledge the pain to avoid unresolved grief in the future.  Not to be trapped in complicated grief.  I want my grief to metamorphose into a loving memory.  Laid forever with a peaceful reminiscence of what love is all about.

For now, I am not going to tell myself how to feel nor am I going to tell myself that it is time to 'move on' or 'get over it'.  I am letting myself to feel whatever I feel without embarrassment or judgement.  It will be an invaluable lesson of reflection and realization.  Of my highest good.  For my highest good.  I want to believe it so.  To find new strength that will enable me to continue with my life's journey.  To regain peace of mind.

Her departure means the loss of a non-judgmental love source.  From a person, who used not in tune with a dog, her departure chokes me.  Emotionally.  Spiritually.

Ruby was not just a pet.  She was not.  Ruby was a trusted companion.  A partner.  She provided unwavering love.  Affection.  Companionship.  Qualities that are hard to match in human form.  She played a large part in me.  She weaved into fabric of my daily lives.  With her presence, she was my best source of unconditional love.  Becoming the ideal child and a true friend.  She listened without judgement.  Without reproach.  She accepted me exactly as I am.  Always there.  Ever forgiving and never hold grudges - no matter how much change I endure.

She was beyond companionship.  She lifted my spirits.

Even in her passing, she never failed to care.  The bonds that we had, none of them trivial or without value, carried on.  Somehow, the pain that I used to have is now gone.  My left frozen shoulder is no longer having the stinging needle pain.  So, is my left sole.  These pains, which I had them for so long, just disappeared the day she crossed over.

So, it is only a natural response that I am grieving.  She is a significant loss.  It is my emotional suffering when such love is being taken away.  Each moment, as I think about her role played in my life, and all the wonderful things she offered, I am not going to ignore the grief.  Nor will I try to keep it from surfacing.  For real healing to take place, it is necessary for me to face and actively deal with it.

Grief is never a series of stages.  It does not have the orderly and precise five syllabus of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - in that order.  It is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs.  Highs and lows.

My family and friends have given me great support.  Ruby is blessing me to have them around.  Most of them don't even have a dog in their life.  It is understandable if they could not understand how I could be so upset about losing just a pet.  Yet, for them to be around speaks volume.  For them to understand my grief is god-sent.  Their love makes the burden of my grief easier to carry.  I am very thankful.  Yes, I am.

My grief is taking me to embrace my spiritual and emotional realms.  To better equip me to live and love fully.  I am fortunate to cry, to tell stories and to reach out for comfort from my family and friends.  When it is time, I will just know when to move on with life and to let go when I am ready.

Time will lessen the intensity of my grief.  For now, there are just too much reminders.  They are anywhere and everywhere.  In sights.  In sounds.  In smells.

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The Sanity Of The Mind Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, March 22, 2009

One big lesson that Ruby is providing, with her departure, is about the reality of us being a human.  That, it is so hard to let go.  That, with such a loss, we can easily rack into the past.  That, imperfections are so big.  And guilt is so hard to wipe out.

The mind keeps wondering.  We question our actions.  We ask the limits of intention.  We doubt the validation of deeds.  Beyond all, we express upon the truth of all purposes.

The day we can reconcile it all, Ruby will be very proud of us.  In the silence of communication, there are messages.  You taught us to look out for subtle meanings and the significance of events.  You have made us to seek for higher awareness.  For signs that will release us of our fears.  Of worries.  And eradicate the uncertainty of thoughts.  Only to lead a life with an affection that transcends all mortal feelings.  To become a love born of devotion to one's soul and spirit.

For now, we are still deeply drowned in sorrow.  Unfortunately, we are not coping well.  It is the empty room in our surrounding.  In our hearts.  In Reiki Sanctuary.  It is the loss of a dear companion, and a very precious one.  It is the broken relationship.  It is the loneliness in the heart.  Flashes of the past magnify. 

The emotional pangs of pains can be rather unbearable.  We dearly miss her physical touch.  We miss her adorable ways to make us smile.  We miss just having her next to us and watching her sleep.  The tenderness that goldfielded a mercy worthy of our relationship.  That, constantly, reminds us of sacredness and its manifold gifts to humanity and spiritual union.

Your loss is a great pain to us.  We had fooled ourselves that the day will come later.  Much later.  We are just refusing to allow our mind to that decision, sending you to the Vet, was the strength and courage you had chosen.  You knew we would be very lost should you take your last breath in our presence at home.  You knew those are actions that must be done.  You had actually communicated with us.  Showing the unusual quiet trip to the clinic.  Not even barking and struggling as you would always do.  What you wanted was for us to give you the means to the strength that you had lost.  And all your dignity.

The white light that came to connect with you on such a beautiful day, Friday 20 March, was a great blessing.  The weather, throughout the day, was just lovely.  You even had arranged for some people to be with us.  You just knew we needed them.  And the day, it was Saturday  21 March at 3 pm, as your earthly body was cremated, the sky cried.  And so were we and our friends.  It marked an earthly closure between us.  It was the beginning for eternal re-membrance.

We are deeply thankful ...

-  To Dr Quek who tried his best.  To the Lab Technician, Robert, who took great care of the body.

-  Thank You to all our families, relatives and friends that sent condolences, love and prayers.

-  Special thanks to Jian for offering us transport on Thursday.
-  Special thanks to dear Penny, Joanne and Nel for accompanying us on Friday. 
-  Our heartfelt gratitude to our true friends, Ann and Pat,  who sacrificed their time, to be around us at all time.  For their time at the Vet on Friday to the cremation on Saturday afternoon.  For all your time accompanying us throughout the night and trying hard not to make us cry.  And, for constantly bringing back sanity into our minds.

Thank you for the constant prayers.

-  Our appreciation to Pat who accompanied us to collect the ash on Sunday.  And then, sacrificing your work, to spend with us the whole afternoon.

-  To Mr Osman, at the Cremation, who provided us the compassion and the respect final goodbye.

My little request:

I believe in the power of prayer.  I am asking for everyone's prayers as you read this blog.  For a little prayer to Ruby.  For her soul to rest in peace .. For her spirit live on forever.

Thank you all.  May God be with you.

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