In many ways, life is never more precious than at the moment of death. Second only to birth itself.
Sometimes I wonder. How would my life today be should I have had taken a different course earlier in life. Should I have had taken that dream job, just after school, to be a flight steward and not to the career in the banking industry. Would the sky, its glamourous lifestyle (in the 70s and 80s) and all the travel to the different countries make a difference?
Sometimes I wonder. How would my life today be should I have had a different group of friends. Should I have had mingled with another social association and stayed with the 'atas' (elite). Would it change with the way I think or, perhaps, behave? Would it make a difference to who I would become?
Sometimes I wonder. Should I have had not moved out of my parent's place (when I was in my 20s) to venture my independence and learned to be on my own, would I have that great respect for them today? Sometimes I wonder, would a family nurture me or would it be the free will of nature that makes a man. Would it make a different to the way I feel about family values? Would I hold a different ideology for ethical and moral units?
Sometimes I wonder. What would my world be today should there was no technology. Should there have had been no Bill Gates. No IBM and no Intel. Nor a presence of love and the absence of interests for personal computers. Should I have had not met a friend, Jimmy who was willing to teach me everything about computing. Should I have had declined his kind offer to learn. What will I be doing today? How would I be spending my time, say, in the search for more knowledge? Say, in connecting through the world wide web with families and friends? Say, in my desire to communicate with the Universe?
Sometimes I wonder. Should creativity be limited, should imaginations be restricted, should fantasies be confined, would there be endless desires for endless choices? Would these limit our emotions to lessen on, say, greed, hate, disappointment or sorrow? Would there not be a wide varieties on the fusion of processes?
Sometimes I wonder. Should I have had given up many of my hopes, would there be a beacon of love left in my soul? Would I get to a part of where I am today? Would I have learned that I am stronger than I think?
Sometimes I wonder. Should I abandon and ease off all those past events and have had taken a different path, would my life today bring more meaning to my own purpose? Would my spirit take a different dimension? Would my emotions make any difference today? Would, with all that I have considered good increase, or decrease, in size, extent and range? Will the intensity of fulfillments categorize into another form?
Sometimes I wonder. Should I let myself to wonder. I wish there is someone whom I could just throw myself in and shared with me about destiny - but not the way the dictionary defines it. Not by way of the conventional wisdom. Yes, so long as I want to believe, my life has had taken a shape not because of (as The FreeDictionary defines it):
- The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot;
- A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control; or
- The power or agency thought to determine events.
In some ways, we would think that destiny is our escape clause that life is all predetermined. That all events and circumstances integrate together. It will always going to unfold in a certain way. Despite me and not because of me.
In some ways, should I allow myself to think that destiny has taken its free predetermined role, I would have wasted so much time making tough decisions, taking those chances to have happened. I would not have then got to deal with my habits, overcoming those obstacles and working hard just to burst my arse to create for a 'better' life. Hence, what is the point of working hard, taking chances, getting uncomfortable and setting goals?
The thing is, at the expense of all our wondering mind, we are our own creator. The events, and all these courses along our journey, follow and have been dictated by how we think. Each thought may take different path and route but the greatest voyage any human being can ever undertake is that of his own creation.
I should, and it is not another 'perhaps', admit that all of my thoughts, my behaviours, my reaction, my plans and goals in life, or part thereof, have been predetermined by my own creation. How each event will always going to unfold into certain ways. It is, and will be, the most destructive notion should I allow myself to think that the paths I had taken was pre-ordained and non-negotiable.
Re-creation does not bring any form of rebirth but the reproduction with conscious creativity is. We have become desperate to change our higher force from the physical to the spiritual level. We yearn and, continuously reaching up into the unknown, hoping to regenerate. Hoping that a different event may have a different outcome. Many of us live our life to remain immature and keep whimpering that we are not good enough to have all the experiences that we (should) feel.
Our world, my world, has become as it is because we allow it to be. We let, unconsciously, the sense of guilt to prevent and impede us to implore greater possibilities. To do more than we can. To achieve more than we could. We allow ourselves to feel unworthy most of the time.
The best lesson that I learn about life is to allow myself to grow spiritually and to learn to overcome my emotional blocks. To free myself from all the fragmented forms that are being perceived as errors. Our journey through time and space, a journey that is completed, must conspire between God and our free choice.
I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. Only then, that everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked. I, and all of us, have chosen all the particular events and circumstances of our individual lives.
Our wondering mind, my wondering mind, inflicts pain from our ego choices. All those painful events are necessary for us to learn from our darkest dreams and wove them into a tapestry of light. Regardless of all their appearances, it will ultimately lead us to greater good. We must have a greater insight, and awareness, that it has been our defences from our ego choices that not let us see the blessing shine in every step that we ever took.
Life here on Mother Earth is a spiritual warfare. We are constantly fighting to produce positive results (and those whose work) and stripping away of all drama so that the physical and spiritual Self can be separated. We have to find within ourselves the sincere need to grow, to quieten the mind and the emotions.
Everything that is around us, everything in the Universe is energy and a manifestation of energy. We just have to learn to grow to add a quality and depth to life.
I offer Reiki Distant Healing