Reiki Sanctuary In 2014 Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Saturday, January 11, 2014

What a little surprise!  As I woke up in the early hours on the first day of 2014 and was getting ready to receive Reiki Sanctuary's first guest of the year, I was greeted with this butterfly gripped on the wall in our living area.  It was rather a big one and it didn't even fly off when I snatched picture of it.  It just wanted to stay there.

I took it that its presence had some meanings of what could lie ahead.  Be it for me or for Reiki Sanctuary.  At the same time, I felt that our Late Little Ruby - May She Rest In Peace, was here to shine light into Reiki Sanctuary and to remind me of how wonderful life had been.  Of the period of unconditional love and of the days and years where I lived without worries.

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Understand The Language Of The Universe Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Tuesday, November 20, 2012

God, Your Love Encompasses Without Words.




Very often, when we are to meet a foreigner with a different language, the only way that we get to understand each other is through a sound language.  We sound the language that we know and with the help of our hands' gestures, somehow, communication is established.  While it is still so much a chicken and duck situation, we do get to cross over to interpret for a common language.  We are able to make conversation.  Though very likely, there is also a high chance where we are lost in translation.

The Language of the Universe, though mystical, is highly adaptable but it takes our interpreting requirement significantly.  When I used to have a house pet, I experienced that the Language of the Universe did not put a stop in conveying messages.  There was no boundary to communicate between us. All that I had to do was to make the sound of the English language and My Dear Ruby, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel pretty well responded.

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Here You Are, At Last Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, March 25, 2012

We grow through our children as much as we raise them.





Here you are at last, our dearest Ruby.  This shall be your playground, on Mother Earth.  This shall be your final resting place. Earth to Earth; the way you were created and it shall be just the way that you go back.  May you rest in peace.

We are very touched with the kindness of another human being.  It starts when Candy passes on peacefully earlier this week (Read Her Obituary Here).  Our dearest friend wants her to be buried, after the cremation.  Her friend offers her beautiful garden.

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The Unsung Eulogy Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Tuesday, March 20, 2012

How much do you know about your own birth?






Today marks the third year of your passing to the Rainbow Bridge.  Little is said how much we feel blessed to have you.  Little is said how beautiful your soul is as to provide us with comfort.  Little is said how we feel with the Almighty has been showering His divinity upon us through you.  You, dear Ruby, has come into our life for a bigger reason designed by God certainly for a purpose.

For once, I am not going to allow myself to be judged with your presence in our life.  You, just like any of us, have been created by God.  You have a purpose, just like any of us.  Ironically, for a little soul, you have bigger wisdom than most of us.  You have so much unconditional love that humans should be ashamed.  Your gentle soul deserves a place in God's Kingdom.

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Somewhere Out There Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, March 20, 2011

Dearest Ruby,

Today, as we shall spend the day to remember you, we feel a sense when time appears to stand still.  It seems as if time has not changed since the day you walked into the light, the Rainbow Bridge where the beautiful garden of heaven shall keep you safe.

May You Rest In Peace, Dearest Ruby

It was hard for us, who love you dearly, to just let you go.  On this date - 20 March 2009, you found a spot in God's garden.  It  was your time to rest.  It was your moment to rejoice in God's bigger plan.  Importantly, it was the beginning for a new lease of life.

It has never been a goodbye, Ruby.  We can't never say that to you.  Your unconditional love stays with us.  Your soul lingers in loving memory in our hearts.  Your name ever so soft and dear.  You are just a perfect creation molded right out of God's love.

You taught us how important it is to stay gentle in all we do.  Your departure makes us stronger.  It teaches us to be grateful.  It teaches us to pray.  It teaches us to appreciate the tiniest things in life.  It teaches us the beauty of love even when it seems to hurt.

We know that you are always here watching on us.  We feel your presence, constantly.  We feel the shining lights that brighten our souls.  We feel the warmth of your love to keep us safe.  To keep us in the spirit of life.

You are our soul mate, Ruby.  You are our daughter.  You are our dearest friend.  You are the best that life can offer to us.  We will, forever, be remembering you.



May you be ever in peace.

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To This Little Creature ... Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Saturday, January 15, 2011

In Memory Of Meow Meow

Meow Meow

I was surprised by my own reaction.  How I ended up crying.  How I felt so painful, all over again.  I felt a sudden emptiness.  I felt an increased sense of  lost.  I came to miss my angel, Ruby badly.

Earlier today, I received an email from a dearest friend from Thailand.  I was told that the cat, Meow Meow, which he had taken in 14 years ago had just passed on.  Meow Meow was a special cat.

Meow Meow was a neighbour's cat but chose to live with my friend when he was just little.  Somehow, this little creature bonded with my friend.  Soon, Meow Meow became a house pet.  He became a constant companion and an integral part of the house.

I would always remember Meow Meow for his gentleness.  The gentleness in his eyes and his sensitivity.  I may not like cats much but Meow Meow often made me smiled.  After the death of Ruby, I sensed that Meow Meow could feel my lost.  I just felt that Meow Meow understood my lost and was much closer and loving with me.  There were times where he could just be looking at me or came closer to my legs as though to say 'you will be fine'.

Cats, just like dogs, are very sensitive to our behaviour.  It seems that they just know when we are happy or sad.  We may think that they are sleeping when they actually are watching us through their half-closed eyes.

To you Meow Meow, I am praying for your soul to rest in peace.  You are now in a better place where there is no longer suffering.  You are in that Rainbow Bridge filled with plenty of food, water and sunshine.  You will lead a warm, comfortable and healthy life.  Your kidney and liver problems shall be restored back to health.  All of your needs are taken care off.

You will be missed, dearly.

In Loving Memory

"May You Rest In Peace"

The Sleep Song, Secret Garden

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A Year Has Passed: Ruby, Our Little Precious Angel Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Saturday, March 20, 2010

Song From A Secret Garden

Secret Garden

Ruby

One year ago, on this day, you walked over to the Rainbow Bridge.  Not a day goes by, dearest darling Ruby, that we do not think of you.  We think of you everyday.  How you could make us laugh.  How you could light our days.

It has been a year today.  We miss you just as much now as we did the day you went.  We miss your sweet little face and all your loving dispositions.  We miss hearing you give us whines and your happy bark.
Our heart still aches and words just cannot describe the pain.  As we sit here and writing this, our tears are present.  We still miss you so very very much.

Ruby

We still remember that last loving look in your face when we left you at the clinic.  You, somewhat, in your ever gentle eyes told us that everything would be alright.  That you would be at a better place.  That all your pains would no longer inflict sufferings on your earthly body.  That you will be healthy once again.  That you shall never suffer again.

There is just no explaining our failures to understand your problem and to give you the comfort when you needed it so desperately.  Our heart learns, as we remember this day, that God gives us the only perfect gift, the pure and innocent perfect little angel that is incapable of hate and only full of unconditional love.  We learn what the sanctity of life is about and what love means to be.

You, dearest darling Ruby, are our baby.  Our little loving girl, our best friend and our heart  You are our soulmate forever.  You came into our life as a gift from God for a reason.  That is, you are to teach us how to love.

You will always be precious to us.  We are blessed to have spent nine years of our life with you.  Today, as you are dearly remembered, we know that you are in the arms of God.  In his light, you are home.

Our prayers, for you, will never stop.  Our love, for you, will never perish.  You were truly so unique and special.

Our heart is still so broken without you.  We miss you so bad.  You left with a part of us.  In return, we will always have a part of you, forever and a day.

We love you dearly, Ruby.  We pray that you are running through the fields of flowers and basking in the heavenly sunshine, free of pain.

Ruby at 9 Years Old

"May You Rest In Peace"

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What Child Is This Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Of late, I have been having a little desire to own another 'Little Ruby' for yet another significant and constant part of my life.  To fill Reiki Sanctuary to return to the source of comfort and companionship, of unconditional love and acceptance, of fun and joy.  To let the Sanctuary be filled with bouncing, jumping, tail wagging, face licking bundle of happiness. 

Afterall, it is said, every dogs love their masters much more than they could for themselves.  They give us unconditional love, just as God does, and remind us daily that we too can love this way if we choose.

Ruby [November 2009]

I dreamed of her the other day.  She was in my arms and I was giving Reiki to her.  That, was not the first time.  In another dream, she was with my late parents and we were having a feast.  I often dream of Ruby  whenever I have the intention to make a connection with her.  She would usually appear in good health, much younger and there would always be a feeling of love, peace and joy.

Perhaps, Ruby is reminding me to live my life.  To share joy, energy and enthusiasm.  To play, laugh and enjoy just being alive.  To live lives with a smiling face and open arms just as she did with her wagging tail.  To appreciate a glorious gift from God to myself, my loved ones and everyone else to make this world a better place just by being in it.

It is a good sign that I am having the birth of this desire.  My grief for her has come to a new beginning.  Time has allowed me to work through my grief and loss.  A new height for yet another journey.  Though there would always be silent sorrow - afterall, Ruby had been very special to me who brought the meaning of acceptance and life (haste from within personal reasons), my heart is slowly filled with peace.  Where I previously thought that I would never be thinking of having another pet - yes! Ruby is irreplaceable, time is now connecting me with river of life to love, joy, healing, forgiveness, patience, courage and gratitude.

Life with Ruby had been a deep emotional bond.  It was a devotion.  Some of my dearest friends are rather weary about my new desire.  There is, definitely, a reason for what I want.  I may not know of it now.   Nor would I be guided to make certainty with life choices in the beacon for another life lesson.  While these friends felt that I would be derpived of my personal freedom, it only shows that I am having too much of it in hand.  Life with Ruby had proven, to them and myself, that I am capable of devoting to build a relationship.  And, I could sacrifice an opportunity for the sake of the people I want to love and care.

Perhaps, I am being given yet another sign to live a moderate life.  To be who I am.  To embrace endearment of what is in my hand.  To have faith.  To treasure the beauty and love of all the people that have been important to me.  My dearest indigo friend made a wise remark to caution me, saying something like "do not get little Ruby if you are going to make comparisons".  It did knock deep into my conscience.  Perhaps, the next challenge in my life is about the awareness of moving forward.  Of acknowledgement that every soul is unique and each is not about to take the place of another.

Little new Ruby, when the day comes, would be about coming home to what I used to be.  To who my soul finds comfort.  It will be another loving child that will rest on my lap in all hours.  Ruby had been a huge part of my life since the first day I met her.  Over the years, she changed my life.  I travelled less.  I socialised less.  She was my world.  She was the queen of my heart.  I had always felt loved.  I always felt joy.  I spent most of my time with her.  She had always been there with, and for, me.  And, there was never a regret.

Little new Ruby, when the day comes, will be a sign that I have moved forward.  Of an acquisition to build a life rather than looking backward.  Of an awareness to be mindful of the many wonderful gifts about life.

Few days after Ruby crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge, I communicated with her.  She said "I will always be there amongst the triangle of stars watching over you".  I saw the triangle of stars.  Few days ago, when I was in the company of a dearest indigo friend sitting at the balcony, the stars appeared again at the same old spot.  Only this time, there was another tiny star outside the triangle.  I casually remarked to him there was an Angel.  I felt peaceful.

Everyday, for the last few weeks, I would be googling for a blenheim Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  It is the only breed and colour that I love. It is the only breed that I would want, again.  Perhaps, it is because of the 'Kiss of Buddha" marking; the blenheim spot on top of their head.  Perhaps, such a named marking resonates with my spiritual search within me. 
No, it is not about to have Ruby lookalike.  No, it is not about reliving Ruby.  Yes, I am very much aware of the breed's health issues.  Yes, I know of its temperament, of how highly affectionate this breed seeks.  Of how it will never become street-wise.

I would be reading about the breed.  Reading about cavalier puppies for sale.  Reading about cavalier owners.  Reading about cavalier rescues.  Everyday, I would think of going to a pet shop just to see cavalier puppies.  It was the same thing I did after I decided to get a cavalier almost nine years ago.  The only diffrence, this time, is calmness.

I can't help but to wonder what child is this that keeps drawing me to own it.  Though there is always a price for loving this child deeply, the courageous act will definitely bring positive hope to life.  Perhaps, it is about owning the life lesson to take responsibility and love, to interact with others, beyond the unconditional love and affection.  Perhaps.  Perhaps.  Perhaps.

What Child Are These
[Bundle of Joy]

- Video taken from an Australian breeder's site [which I cannot recall now]

Cavalier Puppies

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God Bless Our Home Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, October 23, 2009

One year on ....

Last year, on 20th October 2008, we moved out of Hertford Apartment [for more reading on this, click: As The Curtain Falls] to our new home.  We named her "Reiki Sanctuary".  "Reiki" as she houses the ability to heal and the highest intelligence towards understanding without ever depleting the universal life force energy; the physical earthly consciousness to connect us with all the universal abundance and enriching our spiritual divinity presence.

"The Artwork"

She is, and will always be, a "Sanctuary" that draws and to influence life to promote spiritual atmosphere for a peaceful life.  A life that will be constantly filled with everything good - in our temperament, in our attitude, in our mood and in all our intentions and emotions.

Reiki Sanctuary evolves the body and soul.  Of inviting good fortune.  Of gaining mystical revelations.  Of empowering knowledge and spiritual powers.  It is a home for a soul to live his day where just for today and every day to:

* Do not be angry
* Do not worry
* Be grateful
* Work with integrity
* Be kind to others and to yourself

It has been one complete year.  A full year that has filled us with memories that will last a lifetime.  A year that pitted us low with grief over the loss of our beloved Ruby to a new height of love and bonding.

I remember waking up that morning, for the last time in Hertford, grimaced with sadness.  I cooked Ruby's breakfast for that one last one early before the movers came.  I was crying.  It was sad to leave Hertford.  It was sad to leave a home that had given us so much life and hope for twenty years.

Thanks for the memory that does not fade in my heart, I wake up this morning almost exactly the same time a year ago.  Perhaps, subconsciously, I just want to embrace a memory that can't never be altered.  Perhaps, it is a way to wake up another morning but this time, it is all about creating new experiences.

We move into Reiki Sanctuary with renewed spirits to replenish life; restoring our vigor for prayerful intent in abundance of divine relational life.  To motivate us to live life through love to heal the heart, mind and emotions.  To engage in positive thoughts to create for a happier journey so that life shall be the cyclical cause of these cirucmstances.  Reiki Sanctuary today may be a little quiet without Ruby but the soul remains sacred.  It still inspires the perfect representation of our souls to love and to articulate appreciation, reverence, care, gratitude.  And peace.

Reiki Sanctuary has found that voice.  With her deepest appreciation for the world around us.  She has the elements of living, the essence of life evokes reflection and connection and to the wonders of life as a whole.  Beauty, of yet another life journey, is found here on these beautiful wonders of Reiki Sanctuary.

Just as I fill the rest of the day to pay attention to the many curves and lines that twist and cross to the wonders of events and things, the Universe conspires a new encounter.  What's a better way to start another year - and the many years ahead, with this email that I receive:

"We have nothing to lose.  They say whoever receives this buddha will receive an abundance of unexpected money or some very good news."

Abundance - Oh Yes!

(For the record, just in case there are people that would judge me, I am not a Buddhist. I honor the kind deed of a friend who emailed me this wishes, for he knows that I respect Buddha's teachings.)

One Year On -- Pictures Galore

The Two Faces of the Living Room

The Two Faces of Balcony

The Two Faces of The Dining Room

Aerial View of Master Bedroom

Aerial View of Master Toilet

Aerial View of The Study Area

The Two Faces of Our Guest Room

The Two Worlds - Split Images of Different Areas in Reiki Sanctuary

Aerial View of the Complete Kitchen

The Two Faces of the Guest Toilet

Chipz n nice - Our Collections

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Because I Love You Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I have walked a life, like many others, rest satisfied with doing well and to leave others to talk of me as they will.  To expect my best; convert problems into opportunities and be dissatisfied with the status quo.  To focus on where I want to go, instead of where I was coming from.  Most importantly, decide to be happy, knowing that it is an attitude - a habit, gained in purely spiritual matters and not a result or payoff.

The year 2009 is a song year that sings life into my cells.  Of love that unites living beings so as to complete and fulfill my soul.  For love developing until it embraces the totality of my physical, emotional, spiritual and mental and of the earth.

Somewhere, deep down inside me, in the place beyond all thoughts, I have surrendered.  The greatness of divinity is sufficient, in each and every moment, to make the impossible possible and setting my higher self within mobilised.  In all the blackness of grief to the joy of love, which is interchangeable, the divine grace has taken me by my hand to walk with confidence into the unknown.  Whatever each moment will look like, the faith to take heart of the truth and happiness will get me in the end.

My grief from the departure of beloved Ruby is the breaking of the shell that encloses my understanding.  And for my heart to sing, and my spirit to fly.  Not because she has been forgotten.  I am not to dwell on the past but to use it to illustrate a point. 

From this moment onward, I can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed.  It is for my own creation to make me stronger, wiser, more loving and resourceful.  There is just so much for us to use of nature's way.  We just have to take the time to hear and see that which is close at hand.  It is said that no soul that aspires can ever fail to rise; no heart that loves can ever be abandoned.

You are loved because I love you.  I am loved because love can never be abandoned.  From this moment onward, the only way to deal with the future is to function efficiently in the Now.  This is the gift of change.  When I desire a change, I must be that change before that change can take place.

Today I will be like a very small joyous child living gloriously in the ever present Now without a single worry or concern about even the next moment of time.  As I simplify my life hereon, the laws of the universe will be simpler.  Solitude will not be solitude.  Poverty will not be poverty.  Nor weakness weakness.

I pray for blessings.  I am setting my sights high, and the higher the better.  I manifest for the most wonderful things to happen.  No longer will it be, in this Now, that the swan is standing with wings but a swan in full flight.

I must accept that there is no separation between my soul and love.  Between me and the Universe.  In all the beauty of life, there can be no real lack or scarcity.  There is nothing that we have to try to achieve or attract.  When there is love, we contain the potential - the divine expressions of the creative principle, for everything within us.  If I should learn the secret of right relations, I only have to look for the divine in people and things.

Today is a day filled with atrium of a new life.  Filled with the fire of transformation.  I am blessed.  I bless the day I find you.  In the words of Kahlil Gibran in 'The Prophet',

"When love beckons to you, follow him.  Though his ways are hard and steep.  And when his wings enfold you, yield to him.  Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you, believe in him.  Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."


Everything that is needed has appeared in the right place at the right time.  This is the beginning for a higher soul awareness and joyous soul healing.  I should stride forward with a firm, steady step knowing with a deep, certain inner knowing.  That I will reach every goals that I set myself.

I have been given to share the gifts of the Universe.  I know that I want it.  I thank God that He let me.

... and it is all because I love you ....

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Since You've Been Gone - The 100 Days Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, June 28, 2009

This is for you, dearest Ruby.

Days come and go, and it is already the 100 days today, but all the memories of you never cease to leave us.  The remembrance that will never tire us.  All in love was true.  They shall always remain in our hearts.  Cherished in our mind.  Accompanied in all that we do.  We will always remember you.  We constantly miss you.

These 100 days are windows of change.  A test of time; a test whose time has come.  It is our shared period of realization to find our paths leading into certain passages.  To become our true self with the coming of age.  An awakening, at the end of the 100 days, for the beneficial effects of the different worlds we are in.  With all the sorrow that separates between us, there will be joy await.  There will be an ascended reunion at the end of the rainbow.

Remembering You ...

As She Was [about] 100 days before her departure

You are in the arms of God now.  With all the angels that will accompany your stay.  To guide you.  To take care of you.  You are home where you, rightfully, belong.  You are in a far wonderful place.  Free from worries.  Free from pains.  A heavenly atmosphere to fill the portals of your home and give your soul a warm and loving resting place.  The angels are your great source to your new surroundings providing you of the meaning of life.  They touch all aspects of your being and fill your new home with love and hope.

I thank you for all the days we spent together; it was a fulfilling eight years.  I thank you for giving me the light the day you departed from me.  You take away my physical pains.  I am much relieved from the needling pain of my left frozen shoulder, my left sole and the headache that I often had.  Miraculously, they are now totally gone.

There are more that you left behind.  There are the subtle metaphysical changes you have put in place.   The eventual synchronicity that comes into my life, within these 100 days, raised my consciousness.  Perhaps, this is the beacon light of your love.

Though it confuses me at times, you make me to realize my life journey.  To appreciate and embrace only the best.  To focus on what is important and reap with those that love me.  With those that accept me.  With those that care enough for me.  Just the way you were.

These 100 days guide with a beacon in almost every aspects of my life.  I find love in unexpected quarters from friends and family members that I had taken them for granted.  My thoughts about the meaning of life, or about love or about virtue or vice and about each aspect of life are slowly spelt with subtlety.  My thoughts find easy resonance with my desire.

I sense a transformation within myself with your departure.  These 100 days reveal a deeper consciousness within me.  To be aware and bring into reality the significance of my life.  To appreciate the full meaning of human bondage.  In clear transparency for social order and all the inherent weakness in the organism.  With its intensity of feelings I get from uncaring people whom I had met with reverses and in my own quiet desperation.  I forgive myself so as to forgive others.

The great learning comes on the eve of the 100th day.  You would have probably set the synchronicity; for answers to come into realization and for actions to be carried out.  It is for the new beginning.  You led me to meet wonderful people to speak angelic words of my faith for my beliefs.  To give me strength in trying times and bring the true source of happiness in times of joy.

I was moved to go for a healing workshop - an Inner Dance yesterday.  There was a subtle force to bring me there.  Perhaps, you had observed for all conditions to be favorable for me and opened the path to walk my life ahead significantly.  Throughout the whole session, not only that I felt the presence of light around, there was a constant voice - through the people around.  The message kept repeating from the beginning to the end of the session.

"In the pursuit of peace and joy that we seek in life, we cannot be pulled by people who choose - either consciously or unconsciously, to drag us away of our growth with them.  When time is right, we have to leave those that are no longer nested in the multi dimensional reality for our next waves of growth."

Today, you are now breaking it out and put forward, carrying everything in its right path.  You are teaching me that peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others but by simply accepting them as they are.  True acceptance is always without demands and expectations.  The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.  Neither need me to do anything but be myself.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.  Whatever I can do or dream I can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, magic and power in it.  Begin it now.

These are the imprints about life you left behind.

... and till we meet again, we will always love you.

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HUAT AH!! Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Friday, May 29, 2009

"Huuuuaaaaatttttt Ah!!"

Ah, can't hear you!!  Let's try again ..

HHHHUUUUAAATTTTT AHHH!!

Haha, guess I had been so free the other day.  Woke up and just refused to do anything.  Alright, there were few things accomplished - started with the usual morning ritual - coffee and toilet break.  Followed with the OCD habit of doing the bed, which is a must, and mopped the house abit, which is also another big must. 

And, out of nowhere or rather the thought was so big in my head that morning, the idea to get the Universe to recognize my existence became kinda desperate. I am still missing Ruby.  Maybe, I am still not able to 'connect' with her.  Had dreamt of her; she looked young and healthy and in most dreams, she was pangsai-ing!

May you be at peace, dear Ruby!

The idea to magnify my existence, in somewhat ways announcing, to the outside world - specifically to the Universe, mooted with doing some artwork.  I am not artistic nor was I good at drawings.  But this idea came as though the Universe was guiding me towards it.  Later that night, when a dear friend came to visit, that I realized the message.  It was a call for symbiosis - a relationship of mutual benefit and dependence.

I have always encouraged those whom I have shared Tibetan Geomancy to have some form of recognizable identity outside the house.  Something of collective aspect of the set of characteristics or distinct personality to associate with individuality or entity.  Be it their name or something to establish the condition, and quality, of personhood.  Look, all those rich and famous - they have their names engraved so big together with the house address at their main gate.  And, they become richer and lagi more famous.  Not that this is the ultimate thing to achieve.  There are just much more to life.

We live in a rich Universe filled with indescribable abundance.  And, the great news is, there is plenty for everyone.  For some, abundance invokes images of money and luxurious goods.  For others, it means having a lot of a particular thing.  Which ever we may want to define its meaning, abundance awaits you.

Abundance synchronizes with our life's circumstances.  How we define it, what our beliefs are and how we feel about our own entitlement to happiness and fulfillment.

To me, living in abundance means to live in balance for a state of true freedom and peace of mind.  Without worries and fears.  To live life as it is meant to be lived.  Yes, it is about wealth but it is also about feeling complete in every other area as well.

I feel abundant when I spend time with my loved ones.  When I watch the passing cars and the greenery outside the balcony.  When I look at the sky at night.  When I am at my computer.  When I snack or just drinking plain water.

Ok, I am digressing a little here.  It's unwise to think that the Universe needs such an identifiable thing to recognize us.  To bless us.  To fill us.  But imagine, even the bank needs proof of our identity to cash out monies to us.  Fact is, we need to be recognizable.  To be at the right place and the right time.

Only when we allow ourselves to be known, and allowing ourselves to dream big, the Universe delivers our heart's desires to flow in fullness.

"The Artwork"

It's Me, Universe!! 
A simple artwork done by me!

The significant of this artwork is for my belief to help in the overflow to increase my life experience.  Towards an ever expanding abundance in all fields of my heart's desires.  Yes, our life is a miracle and abundance is our birthright!

And, this is how Reiki Sanctuary's Main Entrance looks now

"Welcome To Reiki Sanctuary"

[The artwork hung above the lantern (right)]

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Where Are Those Happy Days Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Monday, May 11, 2009

Yes, those happy days just seem so hard to find.  And, I wonder whatever happened to love?

Memories place my heart over the head and override all sense of logic, sanity and practicality.  I am still swamped, in bits and pieces, with a bottomless void of emptiness within.  At times, it can be just as bad as a drowning man wants air.  The tumult of grief and jittery of indignation create a wave of hesitation to believe in myself.  I find myself locked with my inner most thoughts.  In some ways, twisted into darkness and in other ways, lifted into the light.

My soul cries.  I can feel rather disoriented at times.  All my relationships are changing.  Guess, the truth is I  become afraid of myself.  At times, I am wondering if the Kundalini Self Realization meditation that I had been recently initiated is causing the reactions to my psyche.  It compounded with the grief that I am still nursing within me.  I can only hope that I am undergoing a purification and growth through this difficult and painful phase of my life.

Change is ever present.  It is one certainty in our life.  It can be just like the weather, hot and humid and a wet thundery downpour the next.  That is the power of change.  It takes place without warning, yet constant.  That life will go on.  We just have to learn to accept it.  To graciously embrace and not to struggle.  That would be the only wise thing to do.  Be appeased and to let the power of positive thinking guides with the universal vibrations.  The end result? - well, it surely fills the pots of gold.

Just like the weather, we have the choice to view life from either side.  The positive and optimistic or the negative and the pessimistic.  These opposing energies interrelate.  It is the flow of energy.  They say that the winner takes it all but only when the choice is made from a positive mindset.  We are what we eat and we become what we think - A man's life is what his thoughts make of it.

Basic consciousness is our state of awareness, at any given time, using the natural principle of cause and effect.  Our loving actions are the cause, and the effect is our every increasing awareness of being interconnected with the rest of creation.

I am caught in between.  I find myself knee deep searching into cosmic spiritual consciousness.  Have a glorious desire that would shiver my soul with delight.  To fill with abundant energy with positive attitudes with nature's law.  To become an asset to life, manifest within the principles, that keep our Universe running rhythmically and harmoniously.  Finding my sorrow as my hope for a better tomorrow.  Turning my pain to settle into the right spaces of the the right places keeping me whole.  Letting me be who I envision myself to be.

I have loved.  I have learned.  And, I have lost.  Deep down, despite all the roller coasters, there must be hope.  There must be courage.  There must be a light at the end of the tunnel.  The faith towards deep love consciousness.  I just need to be aware amongst the ebbs and flows of opportunities.

Admittedly, I am currently struggling to find my own path.  Thinking, and feeling, free to sail off the wind beneath my heart.  I am pretending to live life.  To keep me afloat in the stormy weather.  To sail and just wanting to live another day.  Still, my heart is bleeding.  Tears are still a constant companion.  It can be tiring at the end of the day.  Just to pretend that nothing has ever happened.  There is a big hole in my heart.  Something is just dead.

I fear at my own restlessness.  And, hopefully not blind sighted to follow the path which is right for me.  I have always considered myself a healer.  But today, I wonder at the battles and foes of life.  What in life makes me to conspire in the agony of misunderstanding grief hoping  for the master plan to bail me out.  My soul jerks with the twist of proclivities expelling my inconsistencies, reducing me to an outer shell of the inner me to protect itself.  I feel out of place and could not put a reason behind the feelings.  Perhaps, I am walking a different path now.  A path that asks for qualitative insight.  Away from the critical mass.

Will there ever exist a me that is me that is consistent with its perfect imperfections?  To keep me alive within the tunnel of nervous energy between vital connection in a thought of indefinite wave quantum.  Can I touch the space between sorrow and to find joy?  Can I be free in my own happiness?

I cry for expression of balance and harmony.  I mourn for gentle stroke of love.  For the tiniest flame to understand the experience in my life to develop infinite consciousness of bliss.  The force for higher consciousness to enjoy natural peace and contentment.  For a noble soul to emerge within my scared space that has lost between connections of hope and realities of failure.  I am reaching beneath myself to find the room to breath.  Desperately seeking my rhythm with life.

The pain of lost has stained many pages, of my soul, with tears that were meant to teach me to grow.  I cannot fathom the meaning of my dilemma.  Despite my might struggles to burn the dark spaces and searching for heaven on earth, traces of grace will guide me freely.  I feel strongly that that the Universe would want me to follow my own spirit, wherever it would take me.

The question is.. do I have the courage to do so?

Only time will tell.
Only time.

.. and I still dearly miss a beloved companion.  And, a soul mate.

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Nothing Is A Coincidence Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Thursday, April 23, 2009

The more I observe the world around me, the more I believe that nothing is a coincidence.  A lot of our daily interactions, all the reciprocal actions and reactions in our daily life, are not just random quirks of the Universe.  We need to watch our thoughts and possibly every thought that comes to mind.  Results depend on where the thought is - it sets up an entire chain of counter reactions and actions.  There is a reason for everything.  Even tragedy.  And, I would always want to believe that everything that happens will happen for a good reason.

There is significant message in every event of our lives.  From the most joyful and empowering to the inexplicable or seemingly unjust.  We just need to discover the meaning in what has happened and to see these experiences as gifts.  As lessons.  As opportunities.  We need to see every difficulty as a challenge.  A stepping stone.  Coincidences have genius, magic and power in them.  They are "designed" to be our conversation with God.  They are there for a reason and we should never be defeated by anything, or anyone.  They are the dawn of change for us to use of the nature's way.  They are the forces close at hand untried.

It cannot be only a coincidence, that afternoon when I spoke to Ruby not to fight nor struggle anymore that she slipped my hands to join the Rainbow Bridge later.  Coincidences follow a set pattern and have a higher purpose.  It is just that we fail to notice it.  We are unable to notice because we are often too caught up with our busy schedule.  With our refusal to see the truth.  With our disregard to our higher awareness.  With all the clouds of scepticism.

Two weeks before Ruby passed away, an incident happened when I thought she had gone missing.  For a good twenty minutes, I could not find her in the house and thought I had lost her.  I was frantic.  I was crying.  She felt my emotions.  The Universe must have led her to know that I may not reach the dawn saved by the path of the night should she passed away in the house.

We need to smell the roses, so to speak and to pause to ponder in order for us to link the usual happenings, in our daily life, for a greater scheme of things.  Answers to all our doubts, worries and fears - or even joy, are right in front of us all the time.  Question is, are we conscious enough to associate them?  To become natural with the flow and find solace and strength in our lives.  Becoming aware of the coincidences is one definite step towards our spiritual evolution.

We are living not in a material universe but exist within a universe that has been created out of dynamic energy.  When we discover the true meaning of the events in our life that everything changes.  We become wiser when we see how everything connects.

Those spoken words told to Ruby as not to fight and struggle any longer were reflection of my mental past.  I was not in touch with the life that I intend to lead.  Until I get to it, nothing is going to feel right.  It is her death that makes sense of the catastrophe.  I am overcoming obstacles to realize my potential, strength and will power.  To be in harmony within a relationship, reaching a stage of philosophical understanding at one with the world.

When the light has appeared, where does the darkness go?  How can one wish to hold for long the light of the setting sun?

Nothing is a co-incidence.  The people we meet affect our life.  The successes and downfalls that we experience create who we are.  The rejections and the bad experiences can be lessons about trust.

We may think we have a choice in what we do, but in reality, we will always make the same decision when all the situations around us remain the same.  The one we think is the right one at that time.  The right way, or passage, does not belong to things seen nor to things unseen.  It does not belong to things known, nor to things unknown.  We just have to open ourselves as wide as the sky to allow the way.

For now, it is about time that I should start trusting my intuition rather than letting practicality override all my thoughts.  The thing is, everyone of us have an inherent energy that can be projected in any direction if only we can focus on it for long.  We just need to allow our souls with the power of positive thinking.  No soul that aspires can ever fail to rise; no heart that loves can ever be abandoned.

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The God in Me Greets The God in You Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Thursday, April 16, 2009

Had a good conversation, and a healing session,  with a dear friend yesterday.

Dear Friend [DF] :  It seems that you have an unresolved grief.  I would classify it as 'guilt'.  Do you want to talk about it?

Me :  I am very much aware of what is happening.  It has become an internal struggle.  I am threading on a thin line between letting go and holding on to her memories.

DF  :  What have you let go?  Just listening to you, it dawns on me that you are stuck with the events on her last day.  You beat yourselves up for all the things you had done what you did.  But we cannot bring her back.  We cannot change what you did or did not do.

What we can do is to stop hurting ourselves.  Each of us, in our own way, did what we thought was right at the time, using what we knew and felt.  Each of us tried to do the best we could, and did it with the intention of love.  We are human beings, with frailties and faults.  We don't know everything.  We make mistakes.  But we make them with the best of intentions.  I am sure you did exactly that too.

To hurt yourself with the terrible additional pain of guilt is to do dis-service to the love you have for Ruby.  She is gone and out of pain.  Be fair to who you are now.

Me :  Somehow, thinking about her last day makes me sad.  Not so much of guilt but the chord of awareness between us that took place.  The divinity at work.

DF  :  When we didn't know enough, or made an innocent mistake, do we believe that she did not understand?  And love and forgive you in spite of it?  I believe she does and that what dogs do.

You need to forgive yourself.  You need to quit blaming yourself for being a caregiver.  For being human.  Know that Ruby does not blame you.  She understands because she knows your heart.
 

Let's go through that last day.  Make it accountable.  That's the only way you can let it go.  I am not going to judge but I am here to provide lessons for you, for us, to keep learning.  Every pebble of knowledge will ripple.

****************************************************

As suggested by a dear friend that I should journalise the event, and here it goes:

The Day As It Happened
- without rational process

That morning, I woke up with a heavy heart.  In fact, I would always feel down whenever Ruby was not feeling well.  Whenever she would be restless and not her normal self.  I would always have the thought that her heart or liver, or even her blood count, would be 'in danger'.  Her last medical check-up, on 14th February, didn't show a good sign.  She was not in any health danger but we were warned, by the Vet, to monitor her closely and to see for vital signs of organs failing.

When F left the house that morning, Ruby was not whining.  She was not even strong enough to stand up and get off the bed.  She was fine the day before.  But that morning, she was rather weak.  Somewhat restless.  Ruby would always whine or make some noise everytime F was about to leave the house.  I carried her and we both sent F off to work.

I put her back on the bed, stroked to comfort her and went on to do my morning routine.  I expected her to come to find me in the kitchen, which she would normally do whenever I left her too long alone in the bedroom.  Where she would either just come to see what I would be doing and walked back to the bedroom or the balcony.  Or she would be sitting around if she wanted to eat something. 

Somehow that morning, I had a deja vu.  I had the exact feeling of my late dad.  I decided to check on her.  There she was, laid restlessly on the bed, only opening her eyes to look at me.  My heart sank.

Resting on the bed, I gave her Reiki treatment.  She would normally respond well.  After about half an hour, I let her rest and tried to force myself to do my stuffs.  But somehow, I felt like doing nothing.  I spent the rest of the day lying with her.  Stroking and petting her and never stopped to give Reiki.  She was too weak for anything.  Not even able to drink nor eat.  

That day, I decided not to give her the medicines.  I struggled with the decision because the meds were important to her.  But somehow, I just could not do it.  I knew she would be struggling to swallow them even if I forced it.  I just didn't feel it was a right thing to do that day.

F called in the afternoon telling me that he had made an appointment with the Vet for Saturday.  Somehow, he just knew.  Somehow, instinctively, he knew we needed to bring Ruby to the Vet.  We felt Ruby would be better after a day of inactivity and Saturday would not make that much difference.  I then told him that Ruby had not even been out of the bed since that morning. 

Tried to spoonfeed her some water few times.  She could only lift up her head but didn't drink even though I felt she wanted to. I was at my low as time passed. 

Looking at her struggling to stand up made it worst for me.  She tried to go to the toilet.  That broke my heart actually.  Slowly, she managed to do it but it took her a long while.  She had to stop few times, probably, to find more strength before continuing to the paper for her business.  I felt terribly sad just looking at her, at how she struggled, and not knowing what would be the right thing to do.  I felt she was doing her best, wanting to do the right thing.  It looked like she was in great pain and fighting it off.

I carried her around the house.  Took her to the kitchen hoping that she would have appetite to eat.  She was not in the mood.  Perhaps, she was feeling too weak to eat anything.  Back in my arms, she gave a little struggle when I was carrying her at the window.  She loved looking out but not that afternoon.

I carried her back to the bed.  That afternoon when I stroked her, and for the first time, I cried.  I just could not control anymore.  I felt terribly sad.  Ruby just looked at me.  And for the first time, I told her "Ruby, you are very sick dear.  Should you need to go, go peacefully.  Don't fight anymore.  Don't struggle anymore.  We will always love you."  Those words just came and I sobbed uncontrollably.  There was a sense of guilt afterwards.  Yet, I felt it was the right thing to do.

I spent the rest of the day sleeping next to her.  When it was time for F to come home, Ruby tried to get out of the bed.  I helped her, thinking that she might want to go to the toilet again.  Instead, she walked out of the bedroom heading towards the balcony.  I felt relieved.  At last, she was walking again.

I just looked at her from behind.  She managed slow and small steps.  I tried getting her to go to the kitchen.  For her to eat something.  She continued heading to the balcony.  She fell as she got there and struggled to stand up.  Again, I was hit with sadness and tears just rolled down.  There were heaps of sorrow.  I felt lost and restless at the same time.

I carried and placed her to the sofa.  Stroking and comforting her.  My tears just kept rolling down.  I tried not to cry.  I didn't want to spread my sadness to her.  Somehow, something was telling me that she wanted to greet F as he got home.  When F got home soon after that, she stood up and sat on her paws.  She was too weak to wag but we knew she was happy.

We decided to go to the Vet that evening.  Somehow, we felt we could not wait till Saturday.  Ruby needed medical attention.  Her stomach was bloated.

Ruby was pretty quiet when we told her that we would bring her to the clinic.  She would normally bark whenever we were leaving the house, but not this time.  Not even struggling when we were in the taxi.  She just laid quietly on my laps.  We waited for almost an hour before the Vet could attend to her.  By then, we had the Clinic Assistant to get the blood test done.

It was only when the Vet was examining her, that we noticed she had turned yellow.  We were asked to look out for such sign but it wasn't there earlier.  It was jaundice.  We had more bad news.  Her blood test didn't show good results.  The Vet told us that her blood count was extremely low.  She was anaemic.  And her liver was failing.  She needed to be hospitalised.  She needed to be given drips.  And further test will only be carried out the next morning.  We were reluctant to leave her there but the Vet assured us "Ruby will be alright.  She will not passed away."

Ruby looked calm when we stroked her before we left.  Not even moving.  Just staring at us.  We told her that we had to leave her there and that we would be back tomorrow.  She looked at us as we walked out of the room.  Just looking.  There was no struggle.  There was no whining.  It was, somehow, a calm feeling as we bade goodbye.  And she just kept looking at us with peace in her eyes.

We cried the minute we were out of the clinic.  We felt lost.  Somehow, we didn't feel good.  We comforted each other echoing the Vet's assurance and just to pray for the best.  We planned to visit her the next day, with me going in the afternoon first.  I did more distant Reiki that night.

Somehow, at about 4.30 in the morning, I suddenly woke up.  There was an uneasy feeling.  I felt there was a flash of light.  My thoughts were with Ruby.  I told F that Ruby was calling.  We dismissed any negative thought and continued to pray and went back to sleep.

We planned the day.  We hoped for the best.  Just after 9 a.m., the Vet called me.  My world had shattered.  Suddenly, there was a huge tsunami clouding me.  My heart broke as he said "I am very sorry ..."

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Life Without Ruby Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Sunday, April 12, 2009

It has been 24 days.  Twenty four lonely days without our beloved Ruby.  As we are slowly adapting to our new routine, the pain still remains the same.  The bruises fade but we have lost an arm.  Only all the loving memories will keep us alive.  Reiki Sanctuary has become quiet because it has to be.  This quietness is part of a bigger meaning, part of the mind and the access of perfection to a new life chapter.

Change comes naturally.  And in such a catastrophic change, it is inevitable for the possibility of change inherent in our emotional, and perhaps, spiritual growth and development.  We are reaching out to peace.  More importantly, we are trying to embrace and assimilate quality of life.  For higher meaning.  Of the intangibles, only for the purity of the souls.  For deeper joy to house graciousness towards love.  Sincerity.  Honesty.

We are keeping what is important to us.  To live for, and by, it.  To become similar to a new environment.  To take only the best and throw the rest.  Beyond that, we are seeking for a deeper shared sense of caring and concern.  A desire to grow and develop.  To accomplish spontaneous overflow of hope and tranquility.

One fleeting brilliance of light during our grief comes from the realization for true friendship.  A reflection inward of our attitude and behaviour.  Of how we are reaching out to them.  Reality is, we have friends - people whom we know and probably, just close acquaintances, and a lot gets talked about friendship.  The quantity of them that can fill all hours of the days.

The last 24 days put us to shame.  Of what we have always taken friendship so lightly.  True friendship involves relationship.  And, we learn it alot from Ann and Pat.  Through all their givings.  In all their actions.  Gripped with their convictions to make sure we continue on with our journey with peace.  And acceptance.  They make no excuses of having work or appointments, or anything, but will be with us.  Investing their time for our growth.  Sharing our lives, thoughts, feelings and frustrations.

They 'force' their presence in our hours of sorrow.  And 'force' has become such a positive action.  Acting and doing something and expecting nothing in return.  Allowing us to talk and just to listen.  Allowing us to be irrational yet radiates empathy.  Building companionship and common bond of some kind.  Their calls and visits, at odd hours, and organizing activities [just for us]  make us felt blessed.  To them, they just want the best for us.  It is in their true friendship that encourages us and make us to forgive one another where there has been an offense.  With them, unconditional love develops.

So today, we just want to say thank you to them.  The ones who have stuck by us through thick and thin.  You have shown us the real reason of true friendship and we just hope we are able to show it to others.

In poverty and other misfortunes of life,
true friends are a sure refuge.
The young they keep out of mischief;
to the old they are a comfort
and aid in their weakness,
and those in the prime of life,
they incite to noble deeds.

-  Aristotle

They bring meaning to this quote:-

"When there is love, nothing is too much trouble.  There is always time."

.. and so, we are praying we are not too late to realize.

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Coping With Grief Written by : Reiki Sanctuary Date : Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I am praying.  Maybe not enough.  Maybe too hard.

I am very aware of my grief.  It is not easy to deceive myself that Ruby's gone.  The acceptance is in place.  It has been accorded with love.  That, death is certain.  That, it is a natural process.  Still, I am experiencing profound sadness.  I am all warped with feelings of emptiness.  Of despair.  Of yearning and deep loneliness.  I still cry a lot.  From nowhere, the tears will just begin to flow.  I am missing a beloved soul.  There is just a void feeling to nurture and care for someone whom I love so much.  I still feel, somewhat in small degree, emotionally unstable.

Memories of her last day are still vivid.  Words that I spoke to her echoed with some guilt, somehow.  Ringing  sadness.  Words of hope, of good faith, could actually stove for higher good.  Mismatched between choices.  Landscaping of how fragile I am as her caregiver.

Guess, this blog will just have to bear with my healing process.  I am facing my feelings and will not suppress my grief.  I have to acknowledge the pain to avoid unresolved grief in the future.  Not to be trapped in complicated grief.  I want my grief to metamorphose into a loving memory.  Laid forever with a peaceful reminiscence of what love is all about.

For now, I am not going to tell myself how to feel nor am I going to tell myself that it is time to 'move on' or 'get over it'.  I am letting myself to feel whatever I feel without embarrassment or judgement.  It will be an invaluable lesson of reflection and realization.  Of my highest good.  For my highest good.  I want to believe it so.  To find new strength that will enable me to continue with my life's journey.  To regain peace of mind.

Her departure means the loss of a non-judgmental love source.  From a person, who used not in tune with a dog, her departure chokes me.  Emotionally.  Spiritually.

Ruby was not just a pet.  She was not.  Ruby was a trusted companion.  A partner.  She provided unwavering love.  Affection.  Companionship.  Qualities that are hard to match in human form.  She played a large part in me.  She weaved into fabric of my daily lives.  With her presence, she was my best source of unconditional love.  Becoming the ideal child and a true friend.  She listened without judgement.  Without reproach.  She accepted me exactly as I am.  Always there.  Ever forgiving and never hold grudges - no matter how much change I endure.

She was beyond companionship.  She lifted my spirits.

Even in her passing, she never failed to care.  The bonds that we had, none of them trivial or without value, carried on.  Somehow, the pain that I used to have is now gone.  My left frozen shoulder is no longer having the stinging needle pain.  So, is my left sole.  These pains, which I had them for so long, just disappeared the day she crossed over.

So, it is only a natural response that I am grieving.  She is a significant loss.  It is my emotional suffering when such love is being taken away.  Each moment, as I think about her role played in my life, and all the wonderful things she offered, I am not going to ignore the grief.  Nor will I try to keep it from surfacing.  For real healing to take place, it is necessary for me to face and actively deal with it.

Grief is never a series of stages.  It does not have the orderly and precise five syllabus of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance - in that order.  It is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs.  Highs and lows.

My family and friends have given me great support.  Ruby is blessing me to have them around.  Most of them don't even have a dog in their life.  It is understandable if they could not understand how I could be so upset about losing just a pet.  Yet, for them to be around speaks volume.  For them to understand my grief is god-sent.  Their love makes the burden of my grief easier to carry.  I am very thankful.  Yes, I am.

My grief is taking me to embrace my spiritual and emotional realms.  To better equip me to live and love fully.  I am fortunate to cry, to tell stories and to reach out for comfort from my family and friends.  When it is time, I will just know when to move on with life and to let go when I am ready.

Time will lessen the intensity of my grief.  For now, there are just too much reminders.  They are anywhere and everywhere.  In sights.  In sounds.  In smells.

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